


Love Is A Ruthless Game Unless You Play It Good And Right

by LesAmis_Emily



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-10 07:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 49
Words: 25,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5576110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LesAmis_Emily/pseuds/LesAmis_Emily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adventures of love, sometimes ruthless, other times when it's played just right.<br/>Aka a collection of sprace and jackcrutchie prompts I'm proud of. Most of these and more can be found at thingswcdotoday.tumblr.com, but some are exclusive to this work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gone Too Soon

Crutchie was miserable all week. He knew it was Jack’s last week in New York and he should enjoy the time he had left with his boyfriend, but he just couldn’t enjoy it knowing everyday they spent together was a day closer to when Jack was to leave.

Every morning Crutchie, the usual morning person, begged for five more minutes just to lie in bed together, and when those five minutes were up, he begged for five more.

He refused to do anything without Jack. If Jack left the apartment to go pick up the pizza a block away, Crutchie would go with. Jack needed to go down to their P.O. box? Crutchie followed. It was rare for that last week that they weren’t in the same room together.

Though Crutchie prayed it wouldn’t, the day did come. Jack had to leave. When Davey picked them up to go to the airport, the couple sat in the back right next to each other, silent, but holding hands, Crutchie leaning his head on Jack’s shoulder.

They made it to the airport, where Jack said goodbye to Davey before taking Crutchie’s hand again and walking into the airport. They made it to security, the dreaded security, meaning it was time for them to split up.

“This is it I guess,” Jack muttered, letting go of his suitcase and taking Crutchie’s other hand.

“Please, don’t leave,” Crutchie said. “Just stay.”

“I can’t, and you know that,” Jack sighed.

Crutchie nodded, tears starting to form in eyes.

“Don’t cry,” Jack whispered, wiping the tears off his face. “I’ll be back for Christmas before you know it, and then you’ll be out in Santa Fe for my birthday, and then I’ll be back for yours, and you’ll come down for Thanksgiving, and then I’ll be back again for the following Christmas for good.”

“That’s still too much time without you,” he mumbled.

“I know darling, I know,” he hugged his boyfriend, kissing the top of his head, then his forehead, then his mouth. “I have to go though, or I’ll miss my flight.”

Crutchie nodded sadly. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” he replied with a sad smile, letting go of Crutchie’s hands and grabbing his suitcase. “I’ll call you when I land.”

Crutchie watched as he went through security, before he was lost in the crowd of people.


	2. Somewhere Just For Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie summer camp AU based off of minty-minho.tumblr.com 's headcanons

“You know you really didn’t need to come up a week early to help me set up the art shop,” Jack said for the millionth time that hour as they drove up to camp, Jack driving, Crutchie giving directions, hands clasped together the entire time.

“Please, a week alone at camp with you,” Crutchie replied looking over at Jack smiling, “it’s like a dream come true.”

Jack smiled, pulling their joined hands to his mouth to kiss Crutchie’s as Crutchie turned the radio up.

Within the next hour they were at camp unloading everything out of Jack’s truck to then bring up to the art house.

“Hey Crutch,” Jack called as he started getting back into the truck. “You head up, I’m going to go park the truck and then I’ll hand you stuff.”

“Okay!” he called back and carefully climbed up the ladder, which he had mastered doing over the five years that he had been counselor. The art shack looked exactly how they left it, except slightly cleaner, but still covered in paint per usual.

Jack was back again two minutes later, handing him up boxes of supplies.

“Put the paints on my bunk,” Jack called up from the bottom of the ladder

“The paint’s supposed to go wear?” Crutchie asked, looking down at him.

“If I don’t keep it in there, there’ll be a million five year olds trying to paint each other instead of doing the actual lesson,” he explained. “They know not to go in counselors bunks.”

Crutchie smiled, picking up the box paints and putting them on top of Jack’s bed.

It took them two hours to put everything back to it’s rightful summer home. Crutchie was leaning on the railing of the back porch while Jack finished up a few things when a set of arms wrapped around his waist.

“Hey,” Jack whispered in his ear. “Thanks for coming up with me.”

“No problem,” Crutchie replied, leaning into Jack. “I’ve missed it up here. I was dying to get back.

The two smiled at each other before leaning in for a kiss.


	3. Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is a bad title but best I could think of.  
> Jackcrutchie, canon era

“We’re missing one person,” Davey whispered to Jack. They had been at a rally all day when the police showed up. Things got violent quick so they all went to Medda’s theater as planned.

All except one person. “Crutchie,” Jack said before running out the door.

“Jack!” Davey called but it was too late. Jack was out the door, sprinting through the streets trying to find Crutchie. When the police showed up, he had told him to go just in case things did end up getting violent, and he had.

So where was he?

Jack was running down one of the main streets when he saw some of the cops from the rally, probably looking for him. He immediately turned around to start running the other way when someone grabbed his wrist and pulled him into an alleyway.

“Hey!” he said a bit too loud before realizing who it was. “Crutchie?”

Crutchie nodded, putting his finger to his lip, telling him to be silent, before dragging him down the alley. Jack followed, silent until Crutchie pulled him into the back door of a bakery.

Crutchie closed the door behind them and let go of Jack’s wrist. “Where are we?” Jack asked.

“This is the bakery that took me in before I found you guys. The cops recognized me while they were trying to find you and the guys so I hid in here,” Crutchie explained. “I thought the coast was clear and I saw you running then turn around so I pulled you in. Why were you running? Were there other cops chasing you?”

“No I was looking for you, idiot,” he muttered. “I almost lost you.”

“Damn I told Davey to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid if I wasn’t back,” he mumbled. “Clearly he didn’t listen.”

“I didn’t know if they got you or not, of course I was going to come lookin’ for you!” Jack said, raising his voice every few words.

“I’m fine, please don’t do anything stupid like that again,” Crutchie stood on his tip toes to press a quick kiss to Jack’s lips. “But thank you for being my knight in shining armor. Even if you did almost get yourself arrested.”

Jack smiled, kissing him properly. “No promises.”


	4. Can't Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie theatre AU.   
> The show they're doing is 13 and Crutchie is Archie (Archie has crutches) and Jack is Brett  
> The title is also lyrics from the show haha

Jack had just sat down in his dressing room when Crutchie burst through the door, closing it quickly before taking Jack’s face in his hands and kissing him fiercely.

“Hello to you too,” Jack mumbled when they broke apart. “What was that for?”

“You are way too attractive onstage and I cannot stand it,” Crutchie replied, sitting down in Jack’s lap. “And I just want to kiss you right on stage but I can’t, partially because it’s so out of character and no one knows yet.”

“You do realize we kiss onstage in literally 20 minutes,” Jack smirked, wrapping his arms around Crutchie’s waist, pulling him closer.

“That’s too long of a time too wait,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss Jack again.

“Two minutes to places Ja-oh my god!” Davey said, then screamed as he entered the room to find the two still making out.

“Practicing for act two,” Crutchie muttered, face turning bright red, getting out of Jack’s arms and pushing Davey away as he left to go to places.

Jack stood up, walking out the door, pausing when he got to Davey. “Tell anyone and I will tell the entire cast those stories Sarah told me.”


	5. Oh When It's Your Wedding Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've posted this before but I wanted it apart of this  
> Jackcrutchie wedding

One month left

“Crutchie, shhh, we’ll find another caterer,” Jack whispered, holding his fiancee tightly. “We’ll be fine.”

“But that one had the best food at the best price,” he cried into Jack’s chest. “And how are we going to find a good caterer a month away?”

“I think I can find one even better than the other one,” Jack said, pulling out his phone, sending a text to Race.

Three weeks left

“You realize three weeks from today we’ll be married?” Jack said, running his hands through Crutchie’s hair as they cuddled on the couch watching Food Network.

“Thank god, I hate not being married to you,” Crutchie smiled. “Still need to write my vows though, which are probably going to take me forever.”

“You love writing though,” Jack yawned, looking over at the clock, seeing it was only 10:00pm.

“I want them to be perfect though,” Crutchie replied, sitting up. “Go to bed, you’re tired. I’ll start working on them while you sleep.”

Jack nodded. “Don’t stay up too late though. You’ve got work early tomorrow.”

Two weeks left

“Okay everything about this wedding has been going fine so far besides the caterer mishap, why am I so worried about this?” Crutchie asked, flopping on the couch next to Jack

“Well it’s a good thing that nothing’s going wrong, right?” Jack replied, turning the TV down.

“I mean yes but it doesn’t feel right,” Crutchie sighed.

“I’m sure many other things will go wrong in the next two weeks for us to freak out about together,” Jack promised with a smile.

One week left 

“Jack it’s supposed to snow next week what if we get snowed out!”

“Crutchie it says there’s a 10% chance of an inch of snow, calm down.”

“But what if they’re wrong!”

Fourteen hours left

“I should’ve never agreed to the ‘we can’t see each other all day’ rule,” Jack mumbled, kissing Crutchie again. The rehearsal dinner had just ended and Davey was not-so-patiently waiting for Jack to get in the car so they could go home for the night.

“I know, but it’s a tradition,” Crutchie sighed. “I’m going to have a very hard time falling asleep, partially because I’m too damn excited for tomorrow, and partially because you won’t be right next to me.”

Jack gave a sad smile. “Okay Davey is going to kill me for taking forever,” he said kissing him again. “I love you and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Thirty minutes left

“Dave I’m terrified I can’t do this,” Jack proclaimed, pacing back and forth throughout the room.

“Yes you can,” Davey responded as Katherine walked through the door. “How is he?”

“Panicking,” Jack answered, running his hand through his hair.

“Do you not want to marry him anymore?” Katherine asked, stopping his pacing and sitting him down.

“No of course I do, I love him,” Jack sighed, putting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. “I just don’t feel like I’ll be good enough for him.”

“That’s a lie and you know it,” she assured. “He loves you and he always will. He wouldn’t have said yes if he thought you weren’t good enough for him.” She stood up, kissing his forehead. “I have to go make sure the rest of the boys aren’t being idiots and breaking everything. You’ll be fine, I promise.” She started walking out, but stopped at the doorway. “By the way, he was freaking out as well because he thought he wasn’t good enough for you.” And then she left.

Zero minutes left

Crutchie stood at the alter, biting his lip while waiting for Jack’s turn to walk down the aisle. At this point, he was wishing that they had chosen for a small wedding at City Hall or something instead of nervously standing in front of all of their friends.

And then he appeared at the other end of the aisle. Just seeing him made him realize why they had chosen the big wedding. A smile broke onto Crutchie’s face as he stepped closer and closer.

“Hey,” Jack whispered when he got to the alter. “You ready?”

Crutchie nodded, first to Jack, and then to Medda, who was officiating for them.

“Dearly beloved, we’ve gathered here-” she began. 

“To say our goodbyes,” Crutchie mouthed to Jack, causing a smile to appear on his face.

Medda continued on with the ceremony. The two could not keep their eyes off each other, smiling at each other widely. 

“Now the vows,” Medda said, snapping them back to reality. “Crutchie?”

Crutchie took a deep breath, taking out the folded piece of paper in his pocket. “Okay this was originally must longer due to my rambling, so I somehow managed to shorten it down as best I could,” he took another breath before continuing. “Jack, you have been the most important in my life ever since you took me under your wing fifteen years ago. We were friends for years and I suddenly started falling in love with you but I was too scared to tell you I was for years, petrified that you wouldn’t feel the same way back. Luckily you did and that’s why we’re here now,” everyone laughed at that, allowing Crutchie to sneak a quick smile at Jack. “I never thought I would find someone who I’d want to spend my life with because of my leg and my crutches, but you’re the one and only exception. I love you more than I can ever explain, and I can’t wait for the rest of our lives.”

Crutchie refolded the paper and stuffed it back in pocket before looking up to see Jack, and half of their friends, with tears in their eyes. “Jack?” Medda said.

“Well this would’ve been so much easier if someone wasn’t such a good writer,” Jack mumbled before clearing his throat. “For as long as I could remember, I wanted to get away from New York. Go to the middle of no where and start over. I never went, obviously, because there was something telling me to stick around for a bit longer. Then you came along. You made me love New York, not just for the city, but for the people as well,” he made a weird hand gesture to their friends, gaining a laugh. “You showed me how to love my friends and myself, and without even knowing, you showed me how to love you, all of which I never thought I’d be able to do. I love you, so much, and nothing is ever going to change that.”

Crutchie smiled, wiping his own tears from his eyes. Jack reached over, grabbing both his hands in his own.

They went through the rings and “I do’s” rather quickly, tired of not being officially married yet.

“And with the power vested in me by the state of New York,” Medda proclaimed, “I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss, well you know the drill.”

Crutchie pulled Jack towards him, wrapping his arms around his husband’s neck, kissing him deeply. Jack wrapped his arms around Crutchie’s waist as everyone cheered.

The two refused to separate the rest of the night at the reception. They danced their first dance to You Are In Love by Taylor Swift, held closely together, more swaying in one place than dancing, but they were fine with that. They of course smashed the first piece of cake in each others faces, laughing as they did so. Race’s food was amazing, as always, and they spent the entire night laughing and dancing with all their friends.

They didn’t share another kiss until they got home late that night after the reception, right after they walked through the door to their apartment. “I love you and I’m so glad I get to call you my husband now,” Jack smiled when they broke apart.

“Same goes for you,” Crutchie responded, smiling as well.


	6. It Could Be So Nice Growing Old With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie at Sprace wedding  
> I don't know how else to describe it without giving it away

Race thought of it in the moment. “Dude I should throw a bouquet of flowers,” he whispered to his new husband. 

Spot rolled his eyes but replied back, “Do it.”

He picked up the flowers out of the vase in front of him. “Hey everyone!” he yelled. “I’m going to throw the bouquet like some brides do cause fuck gender norms. Winner gets a souvenir from Disney.”

“What about getting married next?” Katherine called back.

“Yeah that too,” he responded. “Ready?”

Everyone except Jack, who was in the bathroom, gathered in a clump waiting for Race to throw the flowers.

“Three…two… one!” He threw the flowers back and all hands went up in the air, but they landed in Crutchie’s hands. Everyone else sighed at the fact they weren’t getting a Disney souvenir, and walked back to their seats.

Jack came back from the bathroom and sat down next to his boyfriend. “Hey what’d I miss?”

“Well I caught the bouquet,” he said, taking a sip of his drink.

“I thought that was just something women did in movies?” Jack asked.

“Race’s idea,” he muttered. 

“Wait doesn’t that tradition mean you’re supposed to be the next one to get married or proposed to or whatever?” he questioned. 

Crutchie nodded. “You better get crackin’ then.”

“See it’s funny cause he is,” Race whispered to Spot a bit too loudly from where they stood behind Jack and Crutchie’s chairs.

“Wait what?” Crutchie asked looking at the newlyweds then Jack.

Jack looked at Race like he was going to murder him. “Oh c’mon Kelly we both know you have the ring in your truck just go out and do it now,” Race suggested. “It can be a wedding present.”

“You’re an asshole,” Jack grumbled, taking Crutchie’s hand and dragging him out of the room and outside.

“Jack are you actually serious right now?” Crutchie asked once they were outside.

“I am so in love with you and I just want to be with you and I was going to wait and bring you out to a nice restaurant and then go see a show on Broadway and get tickets in the center orchestra and propose at intermission but Higgens had to ruin it-” he ranted, out of breath.

“Jack breath,” Crutchie interrupted. “Your face is turning red.”

“Okay okay,” he replied taking a deep breath. “Brian Crutchie Morris, will you marry me?”

“Of course,” Crutchie smiled. Jack sighed a sigh of relief, taking Crutchie’s face in his hands and kissing him deeply. 

“I’ll be right back,” Jack said once they broke apart, jogging over to his truck and grabbing opening the glove compartment and grabbing a small black box before jogging back over to his boyfriend, no fiancee. 

He opened the box and slid the ring on Crutchie’s finger before kissing him again. They then joined hands again and walked back into the reception hall, sitting back down at their seats.

“Hey Crutchie what’s that on your fin-,” Katherine started to ask before realizing. “Oh my god you’re joking.”

“Blame Race he gave it away,” Jack replied, kissing Crutchie’s cheek lightly.

Soon enough all of friends had figured it out as well and were congratulating the two. 

“Just so you know Kelly,” Spot whispered to Jack while Sarah and Smalls were looking at the ring. “Race got it all on video.”

“Does that mean I’m not allowed to punch him now for giving it away?” Jack laughed.


	7. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie angst??? But with a nice ending??? I'm bad at summaries I'm so sorry

“So what you’re telling me is that you’re having me decide if you go to Santa Fe or not?” Crutchie asked, running a hand through his hair like he always did when he was stressed. “Why?”

“Cause I trust your judgement,” Jack replied. “And you can always come with me too, that isn’t off the table.”

Crutchie propped his elbows on the table and but his face in his hands. “I don’t know Jack, I don’t know.”

“C’mon you can just pick one randomly for all I care,” Jack said.

“It’s not that simple!” His voice got loud quickly. “Either I go somewhere I’ve only heard you talk about, make you stay in New York where you hate it, or lose the person I love. I can’t just ‘pick one randomly.’”

Jack was shocked. “The person you…love?”

Crutchie’s face went blank. “Shit no you weren’t supposed to know that,” he muttered, getting up and starting towards his room. “Just forget I said that.”

Jack ran to him and grabbed his arm. “Did you actu ally mean that?”

Crutchie nodded but refused to look at the other man.

“Can I kiss you?” Jack asked, which caused Crutchie to whip his head around and look at him. He stared at Jack before nodding slowly. Jack leaned down and kissed the shorter man deeply.

“I can’t hate New York if you’re here,” Jack whispered once they broke apart. “How can I hate the home of the person I love?”


	8. A Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie soon to be long distance

“They’re relocating me to San Fransisco for a year.”

Jack’s heart shattered. “A year?”

Crutchie nodded sadly. “I know. And I’m not asking you to come with me because I know you can’t leave your job and I know we deal with long distance.”

Jack nodded, taking his boyfriend’s hands across the table. “God this is going to suck.”

Crutchie smiled sadly. “Yeah it will, but it’ll work.”

“… and that means we’ll be apart for a year,” Jack finished as he flopped down on Davey and Katherine’s couch.

“And you were going to propose within the next two months,” Katherine sighed, sitting down on the armchair next to the couch.

“What am I going to do?” he asked, running his hands down his face.

“You either wait or you propose before he leaves,” Katherine replied.

“When does he leave anyways?” Davey asked, bringing in hot chocolate for the three of them.

“Next week,” Jack grumbled. 

“Better makeup your mind quickly then,” Katherine said, sipping her hot chocolate.

“Okay your two suitcases are packed in the truck and everything else is ready for me to ship after you leave,” Jack said, shutting the apartment door behind him.

“Thank you,” Crutchie muttered from his spot on the couch.

“You okay?” Jack asked walking over to sit next to him.

He shook his head. “I don’t want to leave,” he mumbled, leaning his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“I know, I don’t want you to either, but it’s not forever,” he pointed out.

“I know,” he sighed. “But I feel like something’s going to happen with us being 3,000 miles away and me being three hours behind, which is crazy, I know, but I’m just worried you know?”

Jack took a deep breath. “Okay I’ll be right back.” He stood up and walked to their bedroom and opened the drawer he had been hiding the ring that he bought shortly after talking with Katherine and Davey in. He was planning on waiting, but it felt right now.

“This is probably a really bad time,” he said walking back into the room and sitting back on the couch so he was facing Crutchie. He brought the ring out from behind his back and opened it. “But marry me?”

Crutchie looked at Jack in shock, then at the ring, then back at Jack. “Are you serious?”

Jack nodded. “I was planning on doing this in a few months but with you moving I figured it was now or wait a year. Consider it a promise that’s nothing going to happen when you’re gone. I love you and nothing’s gonna change that, so what do you say?”

“Yes,” he said, a smile breaking out over his entire face. “Yes yes yes yes yes.”

“Oh thank god I thought you were going to say no,” Jack muttered, taking the ring out and sliding it onto his finger before kissing him.


	9. Smash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie angst

Jack and Crutchie rarely fought, but when they did, it was a big.

Today was one of the worst. There was lots of yelling and screaming and it ended with nothing resolved and Jack slamming the bedroom door and locking it, leaving the couch to Crutchie.

Crutchie was angry at Jack, but was also extremely angry at himself for letting himself get this mad. He was pacing back and forth through the living room, unable to sleep knowing Jack wasn’t next to him and that Jack was mad at him as well.

He walked into the kitchen, running his hand through his hair as he grabbed a glass for water, but it fell out of his hand and was shattered all over the ground. “Fuck,” he muttered, tears starting to form in his eyes. He reached for another one thinking he just needed a sip of water to calm himself down before dealing with the mess, but he dropped that one as well. Soon there were four shattered glasses on the ground and so was Crutchie, who was a mess of silent tears at that point.

The light suddenly turned on and Crutchie looked up to see Jack in the doorway. “Christ Crutch what did you do?”

This only made him cry harder, but now he didn’t have to worry about muffling that sounds cause there was no point. Jack grabbed the dustpan and broom and swept up some of the glass so he and Crutchie could sit on the ground without hurting themselves.

“Did you get cut? Please tell me you didn’t get cut,” Jack asked. Crutchie was then suddenly aware of the three pieces of glass in his right hand. “Oh dear god, okay I’ll be right back do not move.”

Jack got up and left but quickly returned with their first aid kit, then carefully took the glass out and wrapped his hand up. “Okay that’s better, right?” Crutchie gave a small nod, eyes still flowing with tears. “Crutchie, shh it’s okay.”

“I woke you up,” he cried. 

“No you didn’t, I was already up. I was about to come make sure you were okay when I heard the crashes,” he explained. “Look go get into bed, I’ll go to Spot and Race’s. I think we just both need some time to clear our heads, okay? I’ll clean this all up.”

“I don’t want you to go though,” Crutchie whispered.

“I know. I just think it’s the best choice. I’ll be back for dinner tomorrow and then we can talk.”


	10. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie adoption   
> Warning: I know nothing about how adoption works so...

Crutchie nearly dropped the phone when he heard the news. “Now?” he asked.

“Yes or you can wait another four weeks like planned,” the woman on the phone said. “You and the mother need to be there to sign the paperwork and she’s flying back to Santa Fe tonight. We honestly thought your child would not be ready to leave the facility and we’re sorry for the inconvenience. So will you be picking up your child today.”

“Yes yes I’m on my way I’ll call back if anything changes,” Crutchie nodded, running a hand through his hair as he hung up the phone. Of course Jack had to go away for work this week of all weeks. He pulled up Jack’s contact and called him. “C’mon c’mon c’mon.”

“Hey you caught me just in time I just got on lunch,” Jack greeted.

“The adoption center just called-”

“Oh my god is everything all right?” Jack interrupted. 

“Yes yes everything’s fine,” Crutchie assured. “But I can go pick her up right now if I want to.”

“What?” Jack questioned., dropping the phone himself.

“I don’t fully know what happened but I know it’s either now or in 4 weeks what do you want me to do?” Crutchie asked.

“Go get her of course!” Jack replied. “I’ll leave today my boss will understand I can probably be back before six if I leave now.”

“Okay okay I’m going to get her then,” he said, tears of joy forming in his eyes. “Jack we’re getting our child.”

“I know I wish I could kiss you right now but I can’t. I’ve gotta go though I’ll see you two at home as soon as possible. I love you.”

“Love you too,” Crutchie hung up the phone and immediately called Katherine. “Hey yeah you know how you were going to pick me up to go to the movies? Yeah can you actually bring me to the adoption center?”

“And here she is,” their adoption manager said as they entered the room.

“Oh my god,” Crutchie gasped. 

“She’s beautiful Crutch,” Katherine whispered, wrapping an arm around him. “Somehow she still sorta looks like you and Jack.”

“Would you like to hold her?” the manager asked. Crutchie nodded and soon Crutchie was holding his daughter. “I’ll give you a minute,” the manager muttered, Katherine kissed his cheek before following the manager.

“Well hello there,” Crutchie cooed, eyes tearing up again. “I’m your daddy Brian. Most people call me Crutchie though. Your dad is on his way though. His name is Jack. You’re dad is really excited to meet you, has been for nine months. It’s been driving me a bit crazy.” His phone rang and Jack’s contact picture appeared on his phone. “Hey.”

“Hi I just landed on my way to baggage claim, already have a cab waiting, where are you?” Jack asked frantically.

“Adoption center holding our daughter,” Crutchie smiled.

“Oh my god,” Jack whispered. “Is she okay? Healthy?”

“Yeah she’s perfect,” Crutchie replied. “Want to switch to FaceTime so I can show you her?”

“Yes please the baggage hasn’t come out yet,” Jack said, hanging up. Crutchie walked over to the door and asked Katherine to come back in. “Hold the phone for me Jack’s gonna FaceTime me soon.” She nodded taking the phone right as he called.

“Hey again,” Jack said, face appearing on screen. “Katherine, you’re extremely beautiful but can I please see my husband and daughter?”

“I’m working on it give me a second,” she mumbled as Crutchie started laughing. She flipped the phone around so Crutchie could see the screen and Jack could see Crutchie through the front camera. “Happy.”

“Oh my god she’s actually there in your arms,” Jack said, covering his mouth with his hand. “Oh my god.”

“I know,” Crutchie smiled, kissing her forehead lightly.

“This is just too cute I just want to get home to you two,” Jack mumbled.

“I can’t either, we should get home around the same time so,” he replied.

“Okay I have to go my baggage is here I’ll see you soon I love you,” Jack said. “Bye Kath thanks so much for not having a life and driving Crutchie!”

“Hey!” she protested but Jack had already hung up.

Jack ran up the apartment building stairs, dragging his suitcase behind him. He was out of breath by the time he had climbed all seven flights of stairs and opened the door to his and Crutchie’s apartment. “Crutch?” he called.

“Shhh I don’t want her to cry again,” Crutchie said, walking into the kitchen and towards Jack with the child in his arms. “Cried the whole way home.”

“Oh my god,” Jack gasped, walking over. “She’s so much better in person.”

“I know,” Crutchie smiled. “Here I’ve been holding her nonstop for an hour and a half you take her.” Jack took the child from his husband carefully. “Meet your dad, the guy I’ve been telling you all about,” Crutchie whispered, kissing her forehead.

Tears started dropping from Jack’s eyes. “She’s ours.”

Crutchie wiped the tears off his face before kissing him lightly. “Yes she is.”


	11. Things You Said I Wasn't Meant To Hear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie things Jack said Crutchie wasn't meant to hear

“Okay but how did you propose to Sarah?” Crutchie heard Jack ask as he was about to enter the kitchen after just waking up, but stopped in his tracks.

“Okay ‘just suck it up’ is not very helpful advice Kath,” Jack grumbled. “This is serious it has to be perfect cause he’s perfect.” Slight pause. “Yes I know we’re adorable blah blah blah now help me!”

Crutchie was frozen, not wanting to move in case Jack heard him and realized he was there. He did however take his phone out and sent Katherine a text.

[To Katherine:] Tell him to just ask me I’m already freaking out at the thought of calling him my fiancee.

Jack was ranting on while Katherine typed out a reply.

[From Katherine:] You aren’t supposed to be hearing this conversation.

[To Katherine:] Yeah I’ve realized. Just tell him to just ask me and that I don’t care how and that I don’t want him stressing over this.

There was a pause after Katherine received the last text. “Katherine I already went over this I can’t just ask- hey I’m really good at pretending I’m not stressed!”

“No you aren’t and you know it,” Crutchie said before realizing that he had and was stepping forward.

“How much of that conversation did you hear?” Jack asked frantically.

“A good few minutes,” Crutchie admitted with a sheepish smile.

“Shit,” Jack cursed sitting down on the couch. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Ask me,” Crutchie said, sitting next to him and grabbing his hand.

“But-” Jack started but immediately was interrupted. “I don’t care if it’s not what you planned at all. Ask me.”

“Okay, but this is going to suck,” Jack took a deep breath. “I love you and I know I always will because you’re you and you’re perfect and everything. So you wanna spend our lives together?” He leaned over to the table where the ring box sat open. “Marry me?”

“Yes,” Crutchie smiled. Jack sighed a sigh of relief before putting the ring on his finger. “And that was perfect, just like you.”


	12. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie with mentioned Sprace  
> I'm so ace/aro so this was a bit awkward whoops

“Okay see you tomorrow,” Jack said as Spot and Race left the apartment, closing the door behind them. He then turned back to Crutchie, who was sat on the couch. “Why did you feel the need to send me those texts?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Crutchie smirked.

“I think you do,” Jack replied, walking towards to couch, climbing on top of Crutchie. “You saw how red I was getting and just had to continue.”

“Maybe,” Crutchie shrugged. “I think they worked though.”

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Jack muttered before leaning down and kissing him deeply.

Crutchie kissed back, unbuttoning Jack’s shirt, when the door opened. 

“Sorry forgot my jac-” Race started to say. “Spot get in here.”

The two broke apart as Spot walked in, mortified. “Jacky boy and Crutchie huh? Looks like I owe you ten bucks Race.”

“You tell anyone about this and you won’t live to see tomorrow,” Jack warned, getting off Crutchie and rebuttoning his shirt. “Unless you want me to tell everyone what I saw last week.”

Spot and Race looked at each other. “Deal,” Race muttered. 

Jack grabbed Race’s jacket from the chair he had left it on and threw it at him. “Now get out I was in the middle of something.”

“Maybe you should lock it next time then,” Spot called as the two walked out the door. Jack followed, giving Spot the middle finger, before closing and locking the door.

“What’d you see last week?” Crutchie asked, sitting up slightly. 

“Similar thing with those two, except they were much farther along,” Jack replied, walking back to the couch. “Now I believe we were in the middle of something here.”


	13. Wish You Were Right Here Right Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie long distance

“Hey are you okay?” Jack asked when he picked up the phone. “It’s what, 3am there in New York? What’s wrong.”

“Just needed to hear your voice,” Crutchie mumbled, voice trembling. 

“You had another nightmare didn’t you?” Jack sighed, sitting up in bed. “That’s what, the 5th night in a row?”

“They won’t stop,” Crutchie cried. “Each night they just get worse and worse too.”

“I wish I could be there Crutch, I really do,” Jack muttered. “Just hang in there, okay? Breathe, you’re going to be fine. I got you out of there and I promise there’s no way you’re going back, even if I’m 2,000 miles away, okay?”

“Okay, I love you.” Crutchie whispered.

“I love you too. Try to get some sleep.” Jack replied before hanging up the phone.

The next day

Crutchie sighed when Jack didn’t answer the skype call. Jack almost never missed a skype date, and if he had to he would’ve told Crutchie hours before, not just not answer.

Knowing there was no use in calling again, he stood up and walked to the kitchen to make himself some dinner, when the door opened.

“Jack?” he asked in disbelief as his boyfriend walked through the door with a suitcase in tow.

“Hey,” Jack smiled, closing the door. It was obvious he was exhausted, bags under his eyes, but his smile still lit Crutchie’s world up.

“I-I thought you weren’t coming back until Thanksgiving…” Crutchie said, confused.

“Your nightmares weren’t getting any better and I felt awful not being here so I took the next two weeks off so we could be together and-” he was cut off by Crutchie moving forward, grabbing his shirt, and pulling him into a deep kiss. 

When they broke apart, Crutchie buried his face into Jack’s chest. “Thank you,” he whispered, tears starting to form in his eyes.

Jack kissed the top of his head lightly. “I just had to make sure you were okay.”

“I am now that you’re here,” Crutchie mumbled, holding onto Jack tighter.


	14. Nothing Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just pure jackcrutchie angst.

“Jack you’re not just going to leave,” Crutchie said, standing in the doorway as Jack stuffed a bunch of clothing into a suitcase.

“Why not?” Jack asked, not looking up. “No one’s stopping me.”

“I am,” Crutchie protested. “You honestly think suddenly Santa Fe has everything you need? It’s a city, just like New York.”

“It’s nothing like New York, you’ve seen the pictures,” he replied.

“Yeah the pictures, not the real thing,” Crutchie pointed out. “It’s going to be completely different once you get there and you know it.”

“It’s better than here though,” Jack turned around, his voice getting louder. “Anywhere is better than here.”

“What about everyone you’re leaving here?” Crutchie asked, raising his voice as well. “Davey, Katherine, Spot, Race, Specs, Medda, and all the boys. And how about me, huh? You’re best friend since third grade and your boyfriend for the past four years?” He paused, wiping the newly formed tears from his eyes. He took a deep breath, standing a bit taller. “If you leave right now, we’re done. Our friendship and our relationship. Eleven years down the drain.”

“Crutchie you can’t just do that,” Jack snapped. “You know more than anyone how much I want to leave this stupid city.”

“You’re the one making a two second decision,” Crutchie said. “I’m not saying you can never go, but honestly, you don’t even have a plan when you get there. I’m just asking you to slow down and at least think about what this all means.”

“I have, for fifteen years,” Jack replied sternly. “I don’t have anything but Santa Fe.”

“You have me!” Crutchie cried. “Are you that blind? Jack, I’m nothing if you take your love away from me, and you leaving is exactly what you’re doing.”

Jack took a deep breath. “I have to go Crutch,” he muttered.

“Fine,” Crutchie spat, walking over to the open suitcase and zipping it up. “Get out then.”

“Crutchie?” Jack asked, grabbing his arm to stop him.

“Don’t touch me,” he warned. “If you want to leave everything you’ve known for the past eleven years of your life, why not start right now? Go find somewhere else to stay until you leave, it’s not my problem.”

“Crutchie you can’t just do this,” Jack protested. “This is my apartment too.”

“It’s not like it’s going to be for long, why not start now?” Crutchie asked, picking the suitcase up off the bed and placing it on the ground. “Plus it’s my name on the lease and usually is my name on the rent payment.”

“Crutchie I’m sorry but I have to do this,” Jack whispered.

“No Jack, if you were sorry you wouldn’t be going and would just think about this for a moment,” he responded, trying to keep the tears from spilling out of his eyes. “Now leave.”

Jack sighed, grabbing the suitcase. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay, no promises I’ll pick up,” Crutchie said.

He nodded sadly. “I love you.”

Crutchie didn’t respond as he watched the love of his life walk out the apartment. It wasn’t until the door was completely shut and Jack was out of sight did he break down into a mess of tears on the bed they used to share.


	15. My Mistake Is Loving You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short sprace

“Spot you have to stop doing this,” Race mumbled when he opened the door to his boyfriend with a black eye.

“Not my fault,” Spot muttered, walking into the apartment. “Asshole tried mugging me thinkin’ I wasn’t gonna fight back.”

Race threw Spot an icepack. “Put it on your eye, you know the drill.”

“Thanks,” he murmured.

“God if I had known that going out with you would require this much first aid, I’d never have said yes,” Race joked, flopping down on the couch.

“You’re so funny,” Spot scoffed.

“Hey it’s my mistake for loving you,” Race smirked.

“Love you too asshole,” Spot replied.


	16. A Little Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie college AU

“Jack for the love of God I am begging you,” Katherine grumbled. “Go makeout with that boy because I am tired of this pining.”

“But what if he doesn’t like me back,” Jack whined, rolling over so he was lying on his back on Katherine’s dorm room floor.

Katherine groaned, throwing a pillow at him.

“Okay but what am I going to do if he doesn’t feel the same way?” Crutchie pouted. “That’s just going to make living together real awkward real quick.”

Katherine felt as though her eyes rolled out of her head. “You have to be joking right now.”

“What?” Crutchie asked.

“It’s far too early for this shit,” Katherine mumbled, flopping onto her bed.

Katherine pulled the two boys down the hallway, ignoring their protests. She pushed them into the supply closet, blocking the door with her body. “I’m tired of you two whining over not being together when both of you are clearly in love with the other so talk and kiss so I don’t have to hear it anymore,” she commanded. “And for every minute you two don’t talk, I publish an article on my website about the dirt I have on you.” 

With that, she closed the door and locked it. “Minute starts now.”

The two stared at each other, afraid to speak first, but the seconds of silence were too painful. 

“She’s right and I love you but we’re roommates so since you don’t feel the same way back it makes this all really awkward,” Crutchie exhaled, speaking quickly.

“What makes you say I don’t feel the same way?” Jack asked, blushing slightly.

Crutchie looked up at him wide-eyed. “Really?”

Jack nodded, walking closer to Crutchie until he was inches away from his face. “Please stop me if you don’t want this,” he whispered before grabbing Crutchie’s face in his hands and kissing him.

Crutchie didn’t stop him, of course. He instead kissed back, letting his crutch fall to the ground as he wrapped his arms around Jack’s waist, pulling him even closer.

They pulled apart a minute later, both slightly out of breath. Jack looked down at Crutchie, smile breaking out onto his face, a slight laugh escaping his mouth as he pushed the curls out of Crutchie’s face. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Crutchie smiled back. “And I hope you realize I’m now never going to stop saying that.”

“Hmm that could get annoying, but if I’m kissing you, you can’t say it,” Jack smirked.

“That is true,” Crutchie laughed as Jack leaned in again, only to be interrupted by the door opening.

“This is cute and all,” Katherine interrupted. “And I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with pining anymore, but the janitor gets off break in about 30 seconds so I’d move this back to your dorm.”


	17. Can't Keep This From You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First fic from jackcrutchie week 2015

“Hey Crutch, can I talk to you?” Jack asked quietly. “On the roof?”

Crutchie raised an eyebrow. Talking on the roof meant it was important. “Yeah of course.”

Jack nodded, leading him out of the apartment filled with their friends. Once they approached the ladder, Jack climbed up first, taking Crutchie’s crutch with him, before helping the smaller man climb up himself.

They sat in the two chairs Jack had brought up when he first moved here like they always did, the sights of the lit up city surrounding them. “What’d you wanna talk about?” Crutchie asked once they sat down.

“Okay um, you’re the first person I’m telling this to,” Jack mumbled, looking down at his hands instead of Crutchie. “But I think I’m biromantic now, not aromantic.”

Crutchie smiled softly. “Thanks for telling me,” he replied before taking a deep breath. “I haven’t told anyone this yet but I’m bi as well…”

“You are?” Jack asked, eyes widening slightly.

“Well demi-bi to be exact but yeah,” Crutchie muttered. “I figured it out a while ago but I was too afraid to tell you.”

“You don’t have to be afraid to tell me anything, we’re best friends,” Jack assured, punching Crutchie’s arm playfully.

Crutchie shrugged, starting to fiddle with his hands like he always did when he was nervous. “Why did you tell me first?”

“You seemed like the right person to tell,” Jack expalined, “especially seeing how you’re the one who made me realize I was.”

“What?” Crutchie asked in shock, looking over at Jack.

Jack’s face turned bright red. “Shit I didn’t mean to say that, fuck.”

“What did you mean by that?” he asked.

“Crutch I don’t want to make things awkward,” Jack mumbled.

“Tell me,” Crutchie demanded.

“ImayhavefalleninlovewithyouandfreakedoutabitwhenIrealized,” Jack spat out in one breath.

“That’s how I found out I was bi too,” Crutchie said, small smile spreading across his face.

Jack looked over at him. “You love me?”

Crutchie nodded sheepishly.

“Can I kiss you?” Jack asked quietly, moving his chair closer to Crutchie.

Crutchie nodded, leaning into Jack.


	18. You'll Always Be My Knight In Shining Armor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 of jackcrutchie week 2015

Crutchie could tell from the moment he woke up it was going to be a bad day.

His leg was screaming in pain the moment he sat up in bed. He winced at the pain silently, not wanting to wake Jack up.

Walking through the apartment as he got ready was a struggle. It was impossible to put any pressure onto it without wincing audibly. Still, Crutchie got ready, thinking he could make it through the day.

Jack walked out of their room right as Crutchie was about to leave for work, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Hey,” he smiled, walking over and kissing him lightly. “Have a good day at work.”

Crutchie smiled back. “Thanks you too.” He began to walk out the door, not bothering telling Jack his leg hurt because it would go away soon enough, despite every step being painful. “Love you!” he called, shutting the door behind him.

Jack unlocked his phone as he sat down for lunch, only to see seven missed calls from Katherine, as well as ten texts telling him to answer his phone from her as well.

Stepping outside, Jack called back her back. “Why the need to call me seven times when you knew I was at work?” he greeted with a smirk.

“First off, I don’t appreciate the sass,” Katherine grumbled. “Second, because you weren’t answering. Crutchie’s leg is killing him, though he refuses to admit it, I can tell. He can barely walk. Get down here and talk some sense into him.”

“Christ ‘Ace why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he asked, walking back inside and picking his lunch up from the table where he left it.

“I called you seven times, what else did you want me to do?” she asked annoyed. “See you soon, okay?”

“Yeah thank you for telling me,” Jack replied before hanging the phone up.

“Jack what are you doing here?” Crutchie asked as he walked into his office.

“Why didn’t you tell me your leg was hurting?” Jack demanded.

“Jack I’m fine it’s nothing,” he muttered.

“Katherine said you could barely walk so that’s a lie,” Jack said. “C’mon we’re going home.”

“Jack I have so much work to do,” Crutchie protested.

“You can do it at home in bed where you don’t have to walk at all,” Jack insisted. “Now I will forcefully carry you if I have to so let’s go.”

Crutchie sighed, putting his laptop in his bag. Jack took the bag, slinging it over his shoulder as Crutchie stood up, his face twisting in pain.

“Yeah this is sure nothin’ Crutch,” Jack mumbled. “Truck’s right out front so it’s not bad of a walk.”

“Thanks Jack,” Crutchie replied, tilting his head up and kissing his jaw lightly once they reached the car, Jack holding the door open for his boyfriend. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Jack smiled, kissing him properly before closing the door and hopping in the other side.


	19. Brooklyn Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spot trying to convince Race to move to Brooklyn

“Took ya long enough,” Spot greeted as Race entered his apartment, flopping down next to him, giving him a quick kiss.

“So sorry you live a 30 minute subway ride away,” Race responded, rolling his eyes. “On top of that the subway broke down.”

“Maybe you should live in Brooklyn then,” Spot suggested.

“Ha ha you’re very funny,” Race replied. “Oh yeah did I leave my grey hoodie hear the other day?”

“Yeah it’s in my room,” he said as Race got up to get it. “And I’m serious by the way.”

“’Bout what?” Race asked, walking out of Spot’s room with the hoodie, pulling it on.

“Livin’ in Brooklyn,” Spot repeated. 

“I’ve lived in Manhattan my entire life ya know,” Race mumbled, sitting back down on the couch.

“Oh c’mon, how much time do you actually spend in Manhattan these days?” Spot asked. “You work in Brooklyn, and at least four out of seven days you spend here. I mean most of your stuff is already here.”

“Is the great Spot Colon askin’ me to move in with him?” Race smirked.

Spot nodded slowly. “Yeah guess he is.”

“Is it safe to assume you wouldn’t move to Manhattan?” Race raised an eyebrow.

“And live in the same city as Jumpin’ Jack? No way,” Spot muttered.

“True, the world may explode if that was to ever happen,” Race laughed. “I guess I could deal with livin’ in Brooklyn. I’m already datin’ the human equivalent of this stinkin’ city.”

“You love this city, admit it,” Spot rolled his eyes.

“Not a chance in hell,” Race replied, lightly pushing Spot down on the couch and climbing on top of him. “But I will admit to lovin’ you.”

“Fuckin’ sap,” Spot mumbled.

“You love it, admit it,” Race imitated, leaning down and kissing Spot deeply.


	20. Like We're Made Of Starlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 of jackcrutchie week 2015  
> Technically internallyfrowning.tumblr.com is a co-author because the speech about space is actually something she texted to her boyfriend because they're adorable

“Hey Crutch,” Jack said, turning down the radio in the car. “Can I ask you somethin’?”

“Go for it,” Crutchie replied, shifting in the passenger seat slightly to face his boyfriend.

“How did you realize you loved me at first?” Jack asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

Silence hung in the air as Crutchie thought about his answer. “It may be a bit cheesy, but you just made me really happy. I think the moment I realized it was when we were on the roof at your first apartment, just the two of us, looking at the city and you were just talking about all these places you wanted to travel to and sayin’ I could come with, and I just felt so happy. Like I was doin’ something right, ya know?”

“I remember that night,” Jack smiled.

“What about me?” Crutchie asked. “How’d you know you loved me?”

“The Thanksgiving we spent with Davey’s family,” Jack responded. “The entire day you were just a ray of sunshine and so polite to his parents and I sat there thinking ‘that’s the kind of person I wish I could be’. And then I started thinking about it more and figured out that I’d much rather love someone like that and that I actually was in love with someone like that.”

Jack pulled into the parking lot, turning the car off. “Ready?”

Crutchie nodded as the two got out of the car, Jack grabbing the blanket from the backseat before jogging up to catch up with Crutchie.

He spread the blanket out on the grass in the middle of the empty field before lying down, Crutchie following, setting his head on Jack’s shoulder.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, staring up at the night sky before Jack spoke:

“You know when you’re little and you learn that space never ends and your tiny mind is blown because like how? Like you just can’t comprehend it, space has to end somewhere right? Infinite is impossible, everything has to have an end. Well the only comparison I can make to try and show you how happy you make me is that moment, except instead of space, it’s my happiness,” he whispered. “If that makes any sense at all.”

Crutchie smiled, curling in closer to Jack, not looking at the stars anymore, but instead at his boyfriend. “It makes sense, mainly ‘cause I feel the same way.”

Jack rolled over slightly to face Crutchie. “I love you so much, you know that?”

“And I love you even more, you know that?” Crutchie countered with a grin.

“Impossible,” Jack scoffed, leaning forward and kissing Crutchie lightly.

Crutchie kissed back before Jack wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer to him. Crutchie buried his face into the crook of Jack’s neck, lightly pressing kisses against it every so often.

Jack wasn’t watching the stars at this point, but the smaller man curled up to him instead. He slowly ran his hands through Crutchie’s curls, thinking about everything the past two years with him had been. Looking back at the years, Jack realized how happy he was, which was a new long term feeling for him. For most of his life, he was never purely happy, but ever since Crutchie walked in as a ray of sunshine, it’s all he ever wanted to be.

“Marry me,” Jack whispered, barely audible.

“What?” Crutchie hummed, face still in Jack’s neck.

“Please marry me,” Jack repeated, slightly louder this time. “This really isn’t fancy at all, I don’t even have a ring, but you just make me so happy and I want to stay like this forever and I just realized this, so please just marry me.”

Crutchie moved his head back to face Jack, small smile spread across his lips. “Like I could say no to you.”

“So that’s a yes?” Jack asked, fearing he actually made a huge mistake.

“Of course it’s a yes,” Crutchie confirmed.

Jack breathed a sigh of relief, leaning forward and kissing Crutchie deeply. “Thank god,” he mumbled when they broke apart.

“Did you actually think I was going to say no?” Crutchie asked, intertwining their fingers together.

Jack nodded. “It was a bit impromptu and not extravagant in any way and no planning was involved and we have only been dating for two years.”

“You know I don’t care about any of that,” Crutchie said, kissing Jack’s cheek lightly. “I only care about the tax benefits that are going to come with being married.”

“Please tell me that’s not why you said yes,” Jack muttered.

“No, but it is a huge benefit,” Crutchie laughed. “Nothing is going to beat gettin’ married to you though, trust me.”

Jack smiled. “I love you so so much.”

“I love you too, fiancé,” Crutchie smirked, kissing Jack again.


	21. Morning Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 of jackcrutchie week 2015

Jack opened his eyes, peering at the clock before deciding he had more time to sleep. He rolled over only to find Crutchie lying there, peacefully sleeping.

Memories from the night before came pouring in. Admitting his feelings to Crutchie, having the same feelings returned, spending the rest of the night cuddling on the couch, exchanging kisses every so often until they both were practically asleep, dragging Crutchie into his room before falling asleep close together. Jack smiled thinking about it as Crutchie slowly opened his eyes.

“Hey,” Jack whispered, still smiling.

“So last night wasn’t a dream,” Crutchie yawned. “Unless I’m still dreaming now.”

“Not at all,” Jack replied, kissing his forehead lightly. “You’re cute when you sleep.”

“You’re cute all the the time,” Crutchie smirked.

“You’re especially cute when you’re sleeping,” Jack corrected, rolling his eyes.

Crutchie laughed quietly, moving closer to Jack, burying his head in the crook of Jack’s neck. Jack wrapped his arms around Crutchie’s waist, pulling him closer.

“I like this,” Crutchie said quietly after a few minutes of silence. “I don’t want to leave.”

“Me either,” Jack agreed, kissing the top of Crutchie’s head. “I think one of our rooms is going to remain empty for a while.”

“Your bed is more comfortable,” Crutchie muttered, kissing Jack’s cheek lightly.

Jack smiled, shifting his head to properly kiss Crutchie.


	22. Through The Looking Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5 of Jackcrutchie week 2015

Crutchie was not expecting a knock at his living room window at 2:38 in the morning.

Well, he wasn’t expecting a knock at his window any time of the day, but especially 2:38 in the morning.

He was going to ignore it, but the knocking would not go away and was getting louder. Cursing under his breath, he grabbed his crutch and walked over to the window, wrapping a blanket around himself.

“Jack?” he asked, seeing his boyfriend on the fire escape in front of the window. Crutchie unlocked the window and pulled it open. “You have a key to my apartment, you know that?”

“Too risky,” Jack muttered, hopping into the apartment.

“What do you mean too risky?” Crutchie asked before getting a good look at Jack. He had a black eye and his nose was bleeding. “Oh my god what happened?”

“Ran into the Delancys’, they haven’t been too pleased with me at work lately,” Jack explained. “They got a few punches in before I got away. They may have been following me, it’s a bit of a blur.”

“Let me get you some ice,” Crutchie sighed. “Close the window, it’s cold in here.”

Jack obeyed, shutting the window and locking it, sitting down on the couch as Crutchie brought him ice and an old cloth, who then sat down next to him

“Ice on your eye, sit up straight and pinch your nose, should stop soon,” Crutchie ordered, handing Jack the ice as he wiped the blood off Jack’s face with the cloth.

“Thanks,” Jack smiled. “You can go back to sleep now, I’ll head out when the bleeding stops.”

Crutchie shook his head. “No I’ll stay up, and you can just stay the rest of the night. I washed the clothes you left here last week so you can wear that tomorrow.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” Jack asked with a small smirk.

“You were born hotter than the sun and extremely caring and funny, which definitely helped,” Crutchie joked.

“Oh you’re one to talk,” Jack said, rolling his eyes.

Crutchie smiled, leaning in to kiss him lightly.


	23. No One Can Hurt You Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6 of Jackcrutchie Week 2015

“No, stop crying, just stop it,” Crutchie whispered himself, not able to obey his own command as he began crying even more.

The sound of the front door opening snapped him back into reality. “Crutchie?” Jack’s familiar voice called. “Where are ya?”

Crutchie bit his lip, trying to remain silent from his spot on the bathroom floor, despite the door being locked.

“Crutch I know you’re home,” Jack called again, voice getting louder as he passed by the bathroom. Crutchie bit his lip harder, not wanting a single noise to come out.

Jack came back to the bathroom door, moving to open the door, only to realize it was locked. “Crutchie?”

Crutchie made no move to respond, but an involuntary whimper escaped from his lips.

“Crutchie are you okay in there?” Jack asked, attempting to open the door.

He shook his head, despite Jack having no way to see it, letting his cries become audible again.

“No you aren’t, c’mon let me in,” Jack insisted, shaking the door knob.

“Leave me alone,” Crutchie cried.

“Not happening,” Jack assured. “Now can you please let me in because I will knock this door down if I have to and I do not want to get another bathroom door. I don’t think the landlord would be too pleased with that.”

Crutchie slowly moved forward and unlocked the door before retreating back to the corner, hugging his knees.

Jack walked in slowly. “Thank you,” he said, sitting down next to Crutchie, pulling him into his lap.

Crutchie buried his head into Jack’s chest, tears staining the shirt as he gripped on like his life depended on it. Jack held him, rubbing comforting circles on Crutchie’s back, letting him cry.

“You wanna talk about it?” Jack asked once the crying had slowed down.

“’Nother nightmare,” he mumbled, face still in Jack’s chest. “Even worse this time.”

“It wasn’t real Crutch, I promise,” Jack whispered. “You’re never going back there, not while I’m here, okay?”

Crutchie nodded slowly, holding on tighter to Jack.

“You’re safe darling, I’ll always make sure of it,” Jack comforted, kissing his temple.


	24. Tell Me You Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sprace angst with a happy ish ending

“What the hell Spot?” Race demanded, bursting into the apartment.

“Oh you’re back,” Spot greeted, not looking up from his laptop. “Welcome home.”

“I’m gone for 2 days with no warning and you don’t even text me and ask where I am!” Race yelled. “Why can’t you even care about me?”

“I knew you were fine,” Spot shrugged, looking up now. “Figured you were stayin’ with Jack or somethin’”

“Yet you still didn’t text me or Jack or anyone to ask where I was,” Race repeated. “And I wasn’t at Jack’s, I was in the fucking hospital.”

“You were where?” Spot asked closing the laptop. “Why the fuck were you in the hospital?” And why the fuck did you not text me?”

“Because I was in the hospital and didn’t get my phone back until I left,” Race explained. “And thanks for caring now, glad you only care when I get hurt but don’t care when your boyfriend for the past 4 years is missing.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Spot grumbled.

Race sighed slightly. “Bad fight other night, broken rib and concussion, kept me overnight to be safe.”

“Fuck you gotta stop getting into fights,” Spot swore. “Cause despite what you might say I do actually care about you, okay asshole?”

“Wow calling me asshole to prove you care,” Race replied, his usual smirk growing on his face. “Romantic.”

“I swear to God if you didn’t have a concussion right now I’d beat you up,” Spot muttered, moving his laptop as Race came to sit on the couch next to him.

“Oh come on say you love me,” Race teased.

“Love you asshole,” Spot rolled his eyes.

“I’ll take it for now,” Race mumbled, leaning over to kiss him.


	25. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sprace fluff I guess?   
> If you haven't learned yet, I'm really bad at summaries

Race groaned at the endless knocking at the door, turning the TV off as he stood up to answer the door.

“Spot?” he asked, opening the door. “You have a key you know.”

“Forgot it,” he muttered, pushing past Race and lying down on the couch, pulling the blanket Crutchie had knitted for Race two months earlier over himself.

“What happened?” Race asked, closing the door before joining Spot on the couch.

“’m getting evicted,” Spot mumbled, putting his head in Race’s lap.

“Why?” Race asked, shocked. “What happened?”

“Paid my rent a day late for the last 3 months,” Spot explained. “Plus my landlord’s a dick, so as of Friday I’m homeless.”

“This could be your home,” Race replied, running his hands through Spot’s hair.

“I can’t ask you to do that,” Spot muttered. “I can’t ask you to let me crash here until God knows when I find a new apartment.”

“Or you could actually live here,” Race corrected. “With me, permanently.”

“You serious?” Spot asked, sitting up slightly.

Race nodded. “I mean you’re here all the time anyways and I wanted to ask you before but I know you have commitment issues so I didn’t want to scare you and you don’t have to live here if you don’t want to and you can just stay here until you find a new place but-”

Spot pulled him down into a deep kiss. “Sometimes you really need to shut up, you know that?”

“Hey if it means I get kissed, I’m gonna keep doing it,” Race smirked. “So is that a yes?”

“Yes you idiot,” Spot rolled his eyes. “Makes my life easier since half of my shit is already here and since you can actually cook, unlike me.”

“Is that the only reason you’re dating me, cause I can cook?” Race joked.

“That and the fact that you’re an excellent kisser,” Spot replied, kissing him again.


	26. Tell Me You'll Be Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worried Race when Spot gets hurt

“Tell me I have nothing to worry about,” Race muttered, running his hands through his hair as he paced the waiting room. “Everything’s going to be fine, right?”

“Race it’s going to be fine, stop pacing,” Katherine replied. 

“It’s Spot he’s going to be fine, he always is,” Jack added.

“But what if he isn’t?” Race asked, stopping his pacing. “It’s not like he’s ever been in a car crash before! Who knows what’s going to happen to him?”

“It was a minor crash. At most he might have a concussion and/or whiplash,” Crutchie said. “I doubt anything worse.”

“Then what’s taking them for long?” Race mumbled as the doctor walked out.

“Are any of you Sean’s family?” the doctor asked as everyone shook their heads.

“He doesn’t have any,” Race explained. “I’m the closest he’s got.”

“What’s your relation to him?” she questioned.

“We’ve been dating for about four years,” he replied.

“Four years? I thought you got together a year-” Jack began before Crutchie covered his mouth with his hand.

“Correction, we’ve been dating for four years but kept it a secret for three years,” Race muttered. “C’mon you’ve gotta let me see him. We live together for crying out loud!”

“You live together?” Jack asked in shock. “Do you guys not tell us anything?”

“I knew,” Crutchie and Katherine said at the same time.

“We will have this conversation later,” Race hissed, before turning back to face the doctor. “Can I please see him?”

“Only you, no one else,” she instructed. “Follow me.”

“Thank you,” Race breathed a sigh of relief, following the doctor down the hall to Spot’s room.

“He’s very lucky, only a minor concussion,” she explained as they walked to the room. “He might have some neck pain for the next few weeks, but he’s going to be fine.”

Race nodded as the doctor opened the door to Spot’s room. “Sean you have a visitor.”

Spot looked up. “Race? What are you doing here?”

“They called me, you idiot,” Race said, walking over to him. The doctor excused herself as Race pulled a chair over to Spot’s bedside. 

“How did they know to call you?” Spot asked.

“Remember when Sarah and Les nearly got into a car crash and Davey got all paranoid because none of us had any emergency contacts?” Race replied, taking Spot’s hand in his. “He put me, Jack, and himself down.”

Spot nodded. “Thanks for coming I guess.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t?” Race asked.

Spot shrugged. “Not really.”

“We’ve been dating for four years, I’ve known you for another ten, of course I was going to come,” Race responded, rubbing small circles into his hands.

“Still…” Spot muttered.

“Spot, I love you,” Race interrupted. “I was worried sick about you when I found out. Ask Jack, Katherine, and Crutchie, I couldn’t stop pacing out there in the waiting room, terrified that something terrible had happened to you.”

“They’re all here too?” Spot asked. “Why?”

Race shook his head. “Because we care about you, idiot.”

“I love you too,” Spot mumbled, barely audible.

Race smiled softly, leaning in and kissing his lips lightly. “I’ll take it.”


	27. What Are We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sprace talking about their relationship

“Hey um, Race,” Spot muttered. “Can we talk for a second?”

Race looked down at the boy in his arms before turning the TV down. “Yeah sure, what do you want to talk about?”

“What are we?” Spot asked quietly.

“Human beings,” Race smirked.

“No seriously, what are we?” he repeated, sitting up slightly.

“What are you saying?” Race asked.

“I mean the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing is usually just making out and fucking,” Spot explained. “Not this, going out to eat just the two of us and then coming home and watching movies on the couch and cuddling. I mean cuddling! I don’t cuddle!”

Race laughed lightly, running his hands through Spot’s hair. “You can’t say you don’t cuddle when you’re always the one who starts it.”

“Just answer the question asshole,” Spot mumbled.

“If you want to consider us just ‘friends with benefits’ that’s fine,” Race said softly. “But I wouldn’t mind something more either.”

“So if I started calling you my boyfriend, you’d be fine with that?” Spot asked, looking up at him.

Race nodded. “More than fine actually.”

“Does that mean I can make out with my boyfriend now?” Spot asked with a smirk.

“I think that can be arranged,” Race replied, leaning down to kiss him.


	28. Say Something, Talk To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure sprace angst

Race looked up at the sound of the door opening, only to immediately drop it again. “Why are you even here?”

“You gotta talk to him Race,” Davey said. “It’s been five days.”

“Why?” he asked, suddenly angry. “I talk to him, we get back together, and two weeks later we’re right back where we are now! I’m sick of having a boyfriend who treats me like shit and never tells me he loves me even though we’ve been dating for five years!”

“Yes you too don’t have the healthiest relationship, but you’ve both been miserable these past few days,” Davey replied. “You’ve locked yourself in Jack and Crutchie’s spare room and refuse to leave. Spot hasn’t left your apartment and pretty much hasn’t stopped crying the past three days because you haven’t gone home yet and you haven’t even called.”

“He’s crying?” Race asked, looking up. “He’s Spot, he doesn’t cry.”

“Crying is just an understatement,” Davey nodded. “He really wants to fix it this time, for good.”

“I don’t believe that for a second,” Race mumbled, looking back down at his hands.

“He keeps telling me he loves you, you know,” Davey explained. “Won’t shut up about you. Just keeps going on and on about how he keeps fucking everything up and he just wants to talk to you. So for the love of God, please just go home and talk to him.”

“Fine,” Race grumbled. “But this is the last time.”

“Thank you,” Davey replied. “Also, you might want to take a shower. You stink.”

“I don’t need another lecture on how to be a better boyfriend Dave,” Spot mumbled as the door opened.

“Good cause I don’t want to lecture,” Race responded, making no move to move out of the doorway.

“Race,” he whispered, standing up from the couch but not moving forward to greet him.

They stood for a few moments, Race looking at the state Spot was in. He hadn’t changed since he last saw him, except he was now wearing Race’s favorite hoodie. The apartment was a mess and his eyes were bloodshot.

“Christ Dave was right, you were crying,” Race muttered, taking a step forward and closing the door.

Spot shrugged. “Yeah I guess.”

“Spot you don’t have to keep your whole ‘manly man’ thing going,” Race rolled his eyes. “You’re allowed to cry.”

He nodded, tears starting to well up in his eyes. “I know, I know.”

The first tear fell, and soon enough, Spot was back to the crying mess he had been the past few days.

“I’m so sorry Race,” he cried. “I’m an ass and a shit boyfriend and I love you, I really do and I know sorry doesn’t cut it, but it’s all I got-”

He was cut off by Race coming over and wrapping his arms tightly around Spot, sitting them both down on the couch as Spot cried into his chest, gripping on tightly to his shirt.

“Please come home,” Spot whispered after the tears turned silent. “Please.”

Race pressed his lips lightly against Spot’s temple. “Okay. But we both need to work to make this better, okay? I don’t want to repeat this again ever, it hurt too much.”

“I’ll do anything,” he agreed. “I love you.”

Race kissed him lightly. “I love you too.”


	29. Don't You Ever Grow Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie with a three year old yay

Crutchie didn’t know what he expected to find when he got home, but it sure as hell wasn’t this.

“I think someone had a little finger painting accident,” Crutchie smiled, looking down at Lily and Jack on the ground, covered in more paint than the canvas and paper in front of them.

“Daddy!” the three year old shrieked, standing up, only to fall back over again. She got right back up, running over to Crutchie for a hug.

Crutchie stopped her though before she got too close. “Let me change real quick first, then you can hug me, okay?”

She nodded excitedly, sitting back down in front of her paper and dipping her hand into the yellow, swirling it on the paper.

Jack stood, kissing Crutchie quickly in greeting. “Hey, how was work?”

“It was work,” Crutchie shrugged. “Glad the week is over.”

Jack nodded. “I’d get changed before Lily gets paint all over you. Already made that mistake today.”

Crutchie laughed lightly, kissing his cheek, before disappearing into the bed room for a few minutes. When he returned, he was in old pajama pants and t-shirt, already stained with paint.

“That’s mine jerk,” Jack said as Crutchie sat down on the ground next to his husband.

Crutchie smirked. “That’s unfortunate. Good thing it’s already paint stained, like most of your clothing.”

“This is what you get for agreeing to marry me,” Jack muttered, slinging an arm around Crutchie’s shoulder. “Paint stained clothing, terrible cooking, and an excessive amount of beanies lying around.”

“Wouldn’t exchange it for a million bucks,” Crutchie hummed, leaning in to kiss him, except he was interrupted by Lily jumping into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Hello to you too Lil.”

Jack smiled, kissing his daughter’s cheek. “She missed you a lot today, huh? Kept asking when you were gonna be home.”

Lily nodded excitedly. 

Crutchie smiled back. “Well I missed you too and I’m happy to be back.”


	30. What If?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spot asks Race for a favor and stuff happens  
> A+ summary writing, I know

“C’mon just come to this family dinner with me,” Spot insisted.

“Isn’t your family homophobic as fuck?” Race asked.

“Yes which is why I want to bring a guy,” Spot shrugged. “So they stop inviting me every month.”

“I don’t know Spot,” Race muttered.

“We’ll probably only be there like forty minutes,” Spot explained. “But if we just start making out it can easily be cut down to twenty.”

“Yeah no, ask Jack or something,” Race said, getting up, but Spot had his hand on his arm and was dragging him back down onto the couch next to him.

“Is being my date really that bad?” Spot asked. “I mean you’re getting a free dinner and the possibility of kissin’ me, how bad can that be?”

Race stayed silent for a few moments. “Not at all bad, that’s my point.”

“What are you talkin’ bout Higgens?” Spot raised an eyebrow. “You saying that it wouldn’t be bad at all, so why won’t you do it?” Race remained silent, allowing time for Spot to connect the dots, which thankfully he did pretty quickly. “Oh cause you’d like it, and you like me, that’s why.”

“So what if I do like you…?” Race muttered. “Or something like that. And I’m your boyfriend for a night and then I’m back to being the guy who crashes on your couch everyday after work cause he’s too tired to go all the way back to Manhattan.”

“Or you could go and then go to being the guy who comes here every night and makes out with me for a few hours before crashing in my bed with me,” Spot smirked.

Race was about to respond, but instead, lips were crashing with his own and Spot was pushing him on his back as he climbed on top of him. Race kissed back messily, teeth clashing against each other, his hands resting against Spot’s waist, Spot’s handing tangling themselves in Race’s hair.

They pulled apart a minute later, both gasping for breath.

“So?” Spot asked, still breathing heavily.

“So what?” Race replied, looking up at Spot.

“Come to dinner on Saturday?” Spot repeated.

“Does that mean I can make out with you more?” Race smirked.

Spot nodded, trailing a finger down Race’s chest slowly, causing jolts to bolt up through Race’s spine. “And maybe even more.”

“I can deal with one dinner,” he muttered, pulling Spot down into another kiss.


	31. Just A Moment Longer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sprace where they haven't told everyone they're dating yet

“We should get going,” Race mumbled as they started to break away.

“Wait, don’t pull away,” Spot replied. “Not yet at least.”

“Spot if we don’t leave now, everyone’s gonna get suspicious,” Race whispered. “We’ve both been gone for almost 10 minutes, that’s already much longer than the time it takes to finish a cigarette.”

“I’d much rather stay here and make out with you,” Spot muttered.

“I would too, trust me,” Race said. “But if someone went looking for us and they found us, it would mean telling everyone.”

“Don’t you want to tell people though?” Spot asked, lightly running his finger over Race’s collarbone.

Race nodded. “But I know you don’t want to and I’m fine with that.”

“So considerate,” Spot smirked, kissing down Race’s neck, nipping at the skin, causing bruises to form.

“Dude that’s gonna show,” Race whisper-yelled, trying to push Spot off of him, despite the fact he was enjoying it.

“So?” Spot raised an eyebrow, pulling away only slightly. “Don’t you want people to know? Isn’t this way to tell people that we’ve been fucking secretly for the past six months?”

“But you said you don’t want to tell anyone cause then everyone will think we’re dating and that’s not what you want,” Race responded.

“Is that what you want?” Spot asked. “For us to be dating?”

He nodded before realizing that he meant to.

Spot smirked again, returning to Race’s neck.

“An actual-fuck- response would be nice,” Race muttered.

“Was this not obvious enough?” Spot joked, making eye contact with Race. “I want to be your boyfriend, I want to date you, I want our friends to know, and I want everyone to find out by us walking back into that living room with hickeys all down your neck so can you please just let me do my work in peace?”

Race was in shock for a moment before grabbing Spot’s face in his hands and pulling him down for a kiss.


	32. Just A Moment Longer (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two to the last chapter

“Took you two long enough,” Specs greeted as the two walked back into the apartment, Spot flopping down in the chair he was in before he left, Race sitting on the floor in front of him, resting his back against his shins. “How long does it take to smoke one cigarette?”

Spot shrugged. “Lost track of time I guess.”

“Woah Race when’d you get those hickeys?” Jack asked, hitting Race lightly on the arm. Race awkwardly covered up his neck, blushing as Spot lightly kicked his back.

“Seriously those things are huge who gave them to you?” Spot smirked.

Race gained his confidence back at that. He looked up at Spot. “You know there’s a reason why we call you Spot.”

Spot’s smirk only grew as their friends connected the dots around them.

“Wait a minute-” Katherine finally said, breaking the silence.

“Ding ding ding,” Spot muttered.

“How long?” Crutchie asked. “And why didn’t you tell us? We told you guys right away when Jack and I got together.”

“Yeah cause Jack asked you on an actual date. You two didn’t just get drunk and decide to fuck and then continue to fuck in secret for six months,” Race explained.

“God too much detail,” Davey mumbled.

“Then cover your ears,” Spot warned, standing up and pulling Race up with him. “Now if you can excuse us, I’m gonna go have the best sex of my life with my boyfriend.”

“Damn get it Colon,” Romeo called as Spot dragged Race out of the apartment, Race’s face in a deep blush.


	33. Christmas When You Were Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie Christmas Morning

“Morning sunshine,” Jack smiled as green eyes next to him fluttered open. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Crutchie yawned, curling into Jack’s side, kissing his shoulder. “Please tell me it’s snowing out.”

“It’s a Christmas miracle that it is,” Jack replied, looking out through the window.

Crutchie sat up, turning his head to look out the window to see snow falling through the sky. “Christmas morning just got instantly better.”

Jack laughed lightly, sitting up as well, wrapping his arms around Crutchie’s waist. “Now that you have your snow, you wanna go open presents?”

“Can I give you yours first?” Crutchie asked, leaning into Jack’s touch. “I need to go get it from Sarah’s apartment though.”

Jack nodded, kissing his cheek. “I can deal with that. I’ll get breakfast started.”

He kissed Jack quickly before grabbing his crutch and walking out the door.

Crutchie returned empty handed a few minutes later to find Jack sitting on the couch with a large wrapped present beside him. “Ready?” Crutchie asked from the open doorway.

Jack nodded and Crutchie reached back into the hallway and pulled out a black acoustic guitar with a blue bow wrapped around the neck.

“You did not,” Jack gasped, standing up and meeting the grinning Crutchie at the door.

“This is the one you wanted, right?” Crutchie asked, handing Jack the guitar.

“Yes, oh my god, how did you know?” Jack questioned, looking between the guitar and his boyfriend.

“Got Spot to help,” Crutchie explained. “Knew you needed a new one anyways so…”

Jack set the guitar down against the wall before wrapping his arms around Crutchie’s neck, kissing him deeply. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Crutchie smiled. “Your turn.”

“Okay, okay,” Jack mumbled, pulling Crutchie over to the couch, sitting him down next to him, handing over the box to him.

Crutchie excitedly unwrapped the gift and opened the box, just to reveal another wrapped gift. “Really?”

Jack smiled nervously, bouncing his left knee up and down rapidly. “Just keep going.”

Crutchie sighed and continued unwrapping until six boxes later, he was unwrapping a very small box. He pushed the wrapping paper to the side before opening the velvet box, gasping at what was inside.

“Marry me?” Jack asked quietly. 

“Are you serious?” Crutchie looked from the ring to Jack.

Jack nodded. “I love you so much and I just know I want to spend Christmas mornings with you for the rest of our lives, so marry me?”

Crutchie smiled widely and nodded, flinging himself into Jack’s arms. “Yes, of course, yes.”

“Oh thank god,” Jack sighed in relief, hugging Crutchie back tightly, kissing his curls.

“You win best gift this year,” Crutchie muttered into his shoulder.

“Not possible,” Jack replied, rubbing light circles into Crutchie’s back. “I got a new guitar and the best fiancee in the world.” 

Crutchie looked up and smiled at Jack. “Impossible, because you already hold the best fiancee title.”


	34. New Year, New Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie New Year's Eve

Five

Jack scanned his eyes around the room. Almost everyone had an arm wrapped around their partner, one eye on them, one eye on the TV screen counting down.

Four

Everyone except Crutchie and himself.

Three

Jack’s feelings came rushing back at the same time.

Two

Everything he wanted to say for the past year caught in his throat.

One

And they were already standing close side by side.

Zero

A chorus of “happy new year” rang through the room and the rest of New York City, but that chorus didn’t include two voices because Jack had his hands on Crutchie’s face and lips on his, kissing him, not caring what the consequences would be.

Much to his surprise, Crutchie was kissing him back, his crutch falling to the ground as he moved his arms to wrap around Jack’s waist. The kiss was messy and filled with uncertainty, but neither pulled away until the oxygen had run out.

“Damn Kelly you get it,” Race yelled, earning him a slap in the arm from Katherine.

Jack didn’t pay attention to him, just to the grinning man looking up at him. He smiled back, pushing a stray curl out of his eyes. “Did you mean that?” he whispered.

Crutchie nodded. “Of course I did.”

“C’mon we need to talk,” Jack mumbled, picking up the fallen crutch and handing it to Crutchie before taking his free hand and dragging him out of Katherine’s apartment.

They walked in silence for the entire short walk to their apartment, hands joined. Once the door to their apartment was closed, they were kissing again, the uncertainty gone as they kissed as if they had been kissing each other for years.

“Crutch,” Jack muttered as he pulled away slightly. “What is this? What are we?”

“Anything you want,” Crutchie whispered, grabbing Jack’s hands in his. “I just know I want to keep kissing you.”

“I want to date you,” Jack replied softly, squeezing Crutchie’s hands. “I want to go on cheesy dates with you and call you my boyfriend and wake up next to you and kiss you and do everything a stereotypical couple does.”

Crutchie smiled before kissing Jack lightly. “I think that can be arranged.” 

“Oh thank god,” Jack sighed in relief, kissing him again.


	35. Tell Me You'll Be Fine (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sort of a sequel to chapter 26. This time, Race is hurt, Spot worries

“What do you want Mouth?” Spot greeted when he picked up the phone.

“Have I ever mentioned how nice you are to our friends?” Crutchie rolled his eyes from his spot in Jack’s lap as Jack laughed, causing Spot to flip both of them off.

“What do you mean get down to the hospital?” Jack stopped laughing abruptly upon hearing this. “Isn’t it your job to handle this kind of stuff Mom?”

Jack and Crutchie exchanged worried glances in the silence that followed as Davey rambled on the other end of the phone.

“Christ I’ll be there soon,” Spot hung up the phone, throwing the phone to the ground. “God fucking dammit!” he screamed.

“Spot what happened?” Crutchie asked, getting off of Jack and grabbing Spot’s phone, checking for any damage. Luckily there was none.

“Fucking drunk driver fucking hit Race,” Spot grunted, walking into the other room where his coat was, pulling it on angrily. “And now I have to fucking go down to the fucking hospital cause he’s fucking unconscious because that’s just our fucking luck.”

“You gonna be okay?” Jack questioned. “We can drive you down there if you want.”

Spot shook his head. “Just give me the keys to your truck. I’ll drive down myself.”

Jack reached into his pockets, taking the keys out and throwing them to Spot. “Call us if you need us. Be careful.”

Crutchie threw his phone at him as well. “He’s gonna be fine Spot, he always is.”

Spot looked at him and nodded slightly before stomping out the door.

“Dave where the fuck is he?” Spot demanded as he walked into the ER waiting room.

Davey stood up from the chair. “They had to take him in for a minor surgery.”

“Surgery?!” Spot yelled, people shushing him.

“Only minor surgery. He broke his toe, which apparently you can get surgery to fix. It won’t take him long to recover the doctors said,” Davey explained. “Besides that he only fractured his left leg, minor concussion, and a really bad bruise on his hip. It could’ve been a lot worse.”

“It’s still fucking awful,” Spot pointed out, sitting down in the chair, burying his head in his hands.

“He’s gonna be alright Spot, he really is,” Davey said quietly as he sat down next to him. “The doctors said he’s going to fully recover in a month or two and nothing is going to be permanent.”

“It still happened though,” Spot muttered. “I just want to be with him right now.”

“He did wake up but they had to put him right back under for surgery,” Davey responded. “The nurse told me he was mumbling and asking for what she thought was a dog. She was very surprised to find out there was a human who went by the name usually given to dalmatians by three year olds.”

“Oh shut it Mouth, we all know why I have this nickname,” Spot rolled his eyes.

“Cause you gave half of the people interested in guys hickeys sophomore year, trust me, I was there,” he smiled slightly. 

They sat in silent for a while, Spot bouncing his knee up and down non stop, Davey texting all their friends, informing them of what happened, assuring everyone it’d be fine. An hour later the nurse walked into the waiting room. “Mr. Jacobs?”

Both looked up. “Right here,” Davey answered, raising his hand slightly.

She began walking over to Davey when she noticed Spot in the other chair. “Oh, are you one of Anthony’s friends as well?”

“Yeah I’m his dalmatian,” Spot replied with a slight smirk.

Davey stifled back his laughter. “What he meant to say is that he’s Anthony’s boyfriend Spot.”

The nurse nodded. “Well he’s in recovery right now and he’s allowed to be visited by family only. Have you contacted them yet?”

“His family are a bunch of homophobic abusive assholes,” Spot cut in before Davey could speak. “They disowned him five years ago when we told them we were dating.”

“You guys have been dating for five years?” Davey asked. “You’ve always told us you’ve been together for two years.”

“We’ve been together six, now shut it Mouth,” Spot muttered. “Me and Dave and the rest of his friends are more family than he’s ever had.”

“I’m sorry sir, but only family is allowed for the time being,” the nurse apologized. “In a day or two other visitors should be per-”

“Listen here lady,” Spot interrupted. “Family by blood means nothing if you want it to mean nothing, and for him, it means nothing. If we called either of his parents, they’d both hang up and stay in their big fancy house upstate and not think about it again. I’m here though, and so is Dave, and the rest of our friends would be too except they knew they wouldn’t be able to see him now, but the moment regular visitors are allowed, all of their asses will be down here. Me and Dave are both his emergency contacts too, so you better let me back there or I swear to god I’ll go back there and find him myself.”

“He’s right about the emergency contact,” Davey added with a kinder tone. “He should be right after me. His real name is Sean Colon.”

The nurse flipped through the file she had in her hands and sighed. “I can let it slide, but only one of you.”

“You go Spot,” Davey said immediately. “I need to pick Les up soon anyways. Keep me updated.”

“Thank you,” Spot mumbled, following the nurse as she led Spot through the hallways of the hospital.

“He should wake up in the next thirty minutes,” the nurse explained as they reached the room. “Please inform someone when he does, he may need more painkillers.”

Spot nodded, taking a deep breath before entering the room.

Race would’ve looked completely peaceful in the hospital bed if it wasn’t for the countless machines attached to him, his heart monitor beeping steadily. 

“Fucking Christ Race you had to get hit by a fucking car,” Spot muttered, pulling the chair over next to Race’s bed.

He sat there for what felt like eternity, bouncing his leg again, staring at Race and waiting for him to wake up as he nervously fiddled with his phone. Ten minutes later, however, the brown eyes Spot knew all too well were blinking at the sudden light.

Spot smiled as the brown eyes met his own. “Morning.”

“Where the fuck am I?” Race asked groggily. “And why the fuck are you smiling? You don’t smile casually.”

“You don’t recognize this place from all the time you’ve spent here with me?” Spot smirked. “Hospital. You got hit by a car, ‘member?”

Race nodded, trying to sit up, wincing at the pain.

“Yeah that’s probably not your best idea idiot,” Spot muttered. “Concussion and fractured leg and a bruised hip.”

“You still didn’t answer why you’re smiling,” Race pointed out, settling back down.

“Cause I’ve spent the last two hours worried sick about you and you finally woke up and it’s reliving,” Spot explained. 

“Fuckin’ sap,” Race rolled his eyes.

“Oh the car didn’t knock the asshole out of you I see,” Spot joked. 

“I wouldn’t be the Racetrack you know and love without the asshole component and you know it,” Race replied.

“I’ll give you that Higgins,” Spot nodded. “I’ll give you that.”


	36. Christmas With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spot hates Christmas and barricades himself in his room every year. This is their first Christmas as a couple, and Race is determined for Spot to come out and celebrate with everyone else

“C’mon Spot,” Race pleaded, knocking on the locked door. “I’m not letting you barricade yourself in your room again for Christmas.”

“That’s unfortunate cause I’m staying in here,” Spot mumbled, barely audible through the door.

“At least let me in then,” Race suggested. “I won’t make you come out if you just let me in.”

Spot groaned, walking over to the door and unlocking it. “Happy?” he rolled his eyes as he walked back to the bed, burying himself in the comforter again, facing away from the now open door.

Race nodded, closing the door and locking it before sitting on the bed next to Spot. “What’s going on Spot?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” he muttered, voice muffled by the blanket.

“You know that’s a lie and you know I can tell,” Race replied, lying down next to Spot, leaving some space in between them. “What’s wrong?”

Spot sighed, turning over and moving closer to Race, allowing the taller man to wrap his arms around his waist. “It’s just Christmas,” he whispered, “which was always the worst time back at home. Some years just seeing Dave, Sarah, and Les at this time together makes me remember that I don’t have anything like that.”

“That family were a bunch of abusive assholes, okay? They aren’t your family, we are,” Race comforted, kissing his shoulder lightly. “You’re just as much Davey’s brother as Les is.”

“Not really,” Spot mumbled.

“The only reason those three celebrate Christmas is so they can share it with the rest of us,” Race explained, “since none of us celebrate Hanukkah. Because you celebrate holidays with your family, and they love sharing a holiday with us. If that’s not family, I don’t know what is.” 

“I love you,” Spot murmured after a few minutes of silence.

“I love you too Spot,” Race replied with a smile.


	37. Need You Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sprace hurt/comfort. Warning: anxiety attacks mentioned

[To Race]: when do you get off work again?  
[To Spot]: 8:00  
[To Spot]: Why?  
[To Race]: just curious  
[To Spot]: Why do I not believe you?  
[To Race]: …. cause it’s not true

[To Spot]: What’s wrong?  
[To Race]: nothin  
[To Spot]: Change of plans, coming home now. Be there in 15.  
[To Race]: wait no  
[To Race]: i don’t want you to miss work cause of me   
[To Race]: it’s nothing ok? it’ll just blow over  
[To Spot]: Okay now I’m actually coming home.  
[To Spot]: I could tell you were having a panic attack. Please just breathe, I’ll be there soon okay? I love you.

As promised, Race walked into the apartment fifteen minutes later. “Spot?” he called, setting his bag down. “Where are you?”

No response came, but Race soon found his boyfriend sitting against the wall in the hallway, head in his hands, eyes squeezed shut in pain, breathing heavily.

Race sat across from him, taking his hands in his own. “Hey I’m here, please just breathe, okay?” 

Spot continued to breathe heavily, letting his head hang. As Race held his hands, he could tell he was shaking. 

“Spot,” he whispered. “Spot, I need you to focus on me. Just look at me, okay?”

Slowly, Spot raised his head, looking into Race’s eyes while tears filled his own.

“Hey,” Race smiled softly. “You’re gonna be fine, okay? Just breathe for me. In and out like I showed you. In and out, in and out, I believe in you.”

Race repeated those words softly as Spot’s breathing slowly started to even out and the shaking became minimal.

“Thank you,” Spot mumbled barely audible once his breathing had calmed down. 

“You’re welcome,” Race replied, squeezing his hands lightly. “You want to order some Chinese food and watch Netflix? Your choice.”

Spot nodded, allowing Race to pull him up off the ground. Before Race could start walking to the living room, Spot hugged him tightly. “I love you.”

Race smiled and kissed his forehead. Moments like this were rare, and though Race would never say it, he treasured them deeply. 

“I love you too Spot.”


	38. I'm Gonna Find Someone Someday Who Might Actually Treat Me Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jackcrutchie hurt/comfort

“Hey, you okay?” Crutchie asked, sitting down next to Jack carefully. “Katherine told me what happened.”

Jack shrugged, shivering against the cold New York breeze. “I guess.”

“I assume that’s your code word for your not okay at all,” Crutchie said.

“You guessed it,” Jack sighed. “I want to believe that one day I’m gonna find someone, someday, that’ll actually treat me well, you know? But this is the fourth breakup this year. It’s pretty clear I’m not.”

“Someone is going to treat you well one day, I promise,” Crutchie comforted, wrapping an arm around his friend, trying to resist the words someone like me from coming out of his mouth.

Jack shrugged again. “That day just seems so far in the future that it may never come.”

“Don’t lose hope, it may be closer than you think,” Crutchie muttered.

“What makes you say that?” Jack asked, leaning his head against Crutchie’s shoulder.

“I just know there’s someone out there who you’re going to be very happy with one day,” Crutchie replied softly. “You’re just gonna have to find them.”

Silence hung in the air for a few minutes, only the sounds of the street below them interrupting it until Jack spoke again. “What if you think you already found them, but you don’t know if they feel the same?”

Crutchie’s heart sped up slightly. “If they really are that person, they’d feel the same.”

“You think so?” Jack mumbled, slowly moving his hand closer to Crutchie’s until his hand was resting over Crutchie’s.

Crutchie nodded, turning his hand over so their hands were adjoined.

“Do you feel that way about me?” Jack asked, voice just below a whisper.

Crutchie looked over at him, their faces only a few inches apart as he nodded slowly.

“Can I kiss you?” Jack breathed.

Crutchie responded by closing the gap, kissing Jack deeply.


	39. Things You Said At One AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things Spot said at one AM

“It’s getting late,” Race muttered, looking over at the clock. 1:01am. “I should probably head back to Manhattan soon. Subway’s gonna stop running soon.”

“Then just stay the night,” Spot hummed, curling in tighter to Race’s side. “You don’t have work tomorrow.”

“Yeah but you do,” Race replied. “And you do not like getting up in the morning when I’m here and I don’t want you to be late again. Your boss will kill you.”

“Like I care,” Spot scoffed.

“Yeah you do,” Race rolled his eyes, standing up.

Spot pulled him back down. “Seriously, please. Just stay.”

Race sighed. “Fine, but I’m going home in the morning. I desperately need new clothes.”

“Thank you,” Spot smiled softly.

“Why do you want me to stay so badly?” Race asked. “I’ve been here the past three days, what’s one night difference gonna make?”

Spot opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again and shrugged.

“Spot what is it?” Race questioned, concern filling his voice.

“It’s just…” he mumbled, looking down at his hands, “lately when you don’t spend the night here I just get so bored and lonely and it’s hard to sleep…”

“You know I’d be lying if I said that doesn’t happen to me too,” Race yawned. “We’ll talk about this tomorrow, okay? Now I just want to go to bed.”

Spot nodded, allowing Race to pull him off the couch and kiss him lightly. 

“Love you,” he said.

“Love you too,” Spot whispered.


	40. Love Is A Ruthless Game Unless You Play It Good And Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the one that inspired me to make this whole collection thing, hence the title  
> Sprace, though Spot isn't actually in this.

Katherine groaned as the pounding on her door grew louder, even after she had called out that she would be there in a minute.

“It is three thirty two in the morning,” she greeted angrily, opening the door to Race. “What do you need at three thirty two in the morning that Spot couldn’t get you?”

“Comfort cookies and your couch,” Race mumbled, pushing past her and into the apartment. 

“What happened?” she asked, suddenly very concerned as she closed the door.

Race lied down on the couch, covering his eyes with his hands, his elbows in the air, like he always lied when he was stressed. “Take a wild guess what happened.”

“If you want cookies you’re gonna have to specify what exactly happened,” Katherine warned, folding her arms over her chest.

“Another fight,” Race sighed. “Fourth this week, but this was the biggest. He told me he was working late but then he comes home reeking of alcohol and with a black eye.”

Katherine nodded, stepping into the kitchen and grabbing the container of cookies she always kept on hand before walking over to Race, handing him the container before sitting on the chair opposite of him. “You know how Spot is.”

“Yeah and I’m sick of it,” Race muttered. “I don’t really care that he went out, but I’d just like to know he was. And on top of that, he just gets into a bunch of fights and refuses to let me help him and refuses to tell me who he fought and it’s just so annoying. I love him but I just want him to let me in so I know he actually loves me too.”

“Love is a ruthless game Race,” Katherine said after a few moments of silence. “That is unless you play it good and right.”

“I have no idea what that means Plumber,” Race groaned. “I don’t understand your metaphors. Never have, never will.”

“What I mean is that you two both need to work at it to make your relationship work,” she explained. “You guys need to find a way to make it work. It’s going to be difficult, but you guys can make it, I know it.”

“Why can’t we be Crutchie and Jack,” he whined, stuffing a cookie in his mouth.

“Oh you two would hate that, be thankful,” she rolled her eyes. “You taking the couch or heading back to Brooklyn?”

“If I go back, can I bring the cookies?” Race asked.

“Make sure you save a few for Spot,” Katherine sighed.

“You’re the best Plumber,” Race replied, getting off the couch.

“Are you ever going to use my actual name when you talk to me?” Katherine asked, annoyed.

Race smirked and shook his head. “Don’t you know this friend group? We never use our actual names.”

She rolled her eyes again. “Get back to Brooklyn, Antonio. Some of us were trying to sleep.”

Katherine laughed as Race flipped her off on his way out the door.


	41. Questions For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie with mentions of anxiety and depression, but those themes aren't really explored too much

Neither of them knew when the game started. It started as a way for Jack to open up to Crutchie when his anxiety and depression was getting bad, and a way for Jack to know when Crutchie’s leg wasn’t doing good or when he had a nightmare. The only rule was if the two were alone together, they had to answer truthfully.

The tradition continued through high school and college. It occurred much more frequently once the two dormed together in college, after Jack would come home from his late lectures, exhausted, when Jack woke up to Crutchie’s panicking. Though neither would admit it, it helped.

They’d sit on one bed, asking questions. Often, the questions were used to distract the other, questions about their day or random trivia questions. Other times it was about the situation: What was the nightmare about? Do you know what caused the anxiety attack?

The conversations would usually end with a yawn and a thank you from the one answering the questions, and a smile from the questioner.

Crutchie sat on his bed late one night, anxiously waiting for Jack to get back from his study group at the library. A night a few weeks before flashed through his mind.

_Crutchie looked up when Jack walked through the door. “You okay?”_

_Jack took a quick scan of the room, confirming no one was in there and shook his head, walking over to his bed and immediately climbing under the blankets, turning and facing the wall._

_Crutchie stood up from his spot at his desk and hopped onto the foot of Jack’s bed. “What was the best thing you’ve eaten today?”_

_“Those cookies Dave stress baked yesterday,” Jack said, voice muffled by his comforter._

_“What kind of cookies?” Crutchie asked._

_“Fun-fetti,” he mumbled._

_“Are you stressed out about finals?” Jack shook his head. “Depression?” Jack nodded. “Anything in particular?”_

_“Oh just the usual,” Jack muttered. “The fact that I’ll never amount to anything and nothing matters because I’m just gonna end up with a boring ass job and no one who actually cares about me.”_

_“What did you get on your photography project again?” Crutchie asked._

_“Ninety eight,” Jack replied._

_“And wasn’t that professor the one who thought you could never get good at photography?” he questioned._

_Jack nodded slowly. “So?”_

_“So he was wrong, which just proves that people are wrong in life, like how you’re wrong about all the things you just said,” Crutchie explained. “Even if you end up with a boring job, you’re still going to have an amazing life. So many people care about you, like me. You’re going to be someone someday, I promise.”_

_Jack smiled softly, though Crutchie couldn’t see it. “Thank you.”_

_“You’re welcome Jack,” Crutchie yawned. “You mind if I turn the lights off?” Jack shook his head. “Night Jack.”_

_“Night Crutch, I love you,” he whispered, just loud enough for Crutchie to hear._

The last sentence echoed through his mind, just as it had been every night since Jack first spoke it. “I love you” was not something they said just between the two of them. The only time it was said was with the rest of their friends after one had done something that slightly annoyed the other, like when one passed the other in Mario Kart during game night. But just between the two of them, it was never said.

Crutchie didn’t know what Jack meant it as. Yes, it was probably platonic, but what if it wasn’t? What if Jack wanted something more, like he did? What if there was that slight chance that they wanted the same thing?

His thoughts were interrupted as the dorm room door opened. “Hey,” Jack greeted throwing his bag down by his desk before hopping onto his own bed, looking over at Crutchie’s expression. “You okay?”

He shrugged. “Could be better.” “Leg botherin’ you?” Jack asked. Crutchie shook his head. “Class stressin’ you out?” He shook his head again. “What is it then?”

“Remember that one time you told me you loved me?” he quickly asked. Jack stared at him. “No? Okay never mind.”

“Yeah I remember that time,” Jack said. “You heard?”

Crutchie nodded slowly. “Yeah, but it was just platonic, right?”

Jack looked down at the ground. “I don’t like the ‘we have to be honest’ rule anymore.”

“Jack?” Crutchie asked. “Was it platonic?”

“No, it wasn’t” he replied, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry Crutchie.”

“Why are you sorry?” Crutchie questioned.

“Cause now you’re going to be all freaked out and our friendship is basically ruined because you know now,” Jack explained. “Who wants a friend who has been helplessly in love with them for the past three years when they don’t feel the same way?”

“When did I say I didn’t feel the same way?” Crutchie smirked.

Jack looked up. “Do…do you?”

Crutchie nodded. “Why do you think I asked you what it meant in the first place?”

“You’re joking right?” Jack asked in disbelief.

“Joking is technically a form of lying and we aren’t allowed to lie,” Crutchie replied with a smile.

Jack smiled back. “So you love me too?”

“I love you too,” Crutchie confirmed.

Jack beamed as he slowly stood up and walked the short distance to Crutchie’s bed and sat next to him, grabbing his hand. “Can I kiss you?” Jack whispered. Crutchie nodded and leaned in, allowing Jack to meet him in the middle. Their lips collided together, teeth clashing often, an overall mess, but still was the most amazing kiss Crutchie ever had.

Jack eventually pulled away, out of breath. “Was that good?” he asked, searching for something in Crutchie’s eyes.

“Holy shit,” Crutchie mumbled, leaning in to kiss Jack again. Once again, Jack met him in the middle, placing his hands on Crutchie’s face before tangling them in his hair.

When they pulled away again, Crutchie stayed close, their foreheads touching, lips barely and inch away from each other.

“What are we now?” Crutchie whispered.

“I mean we could be anything that means I can keep kissing you,” Jack laughed lightly. “But Christ, Crutch, I want to date you. I want take you on cheesy dates to cheesy coffee shops and picnics in Central Park, go stargazing somewhere outside the city with you next to me. I want to call you my boyfriend and hold your hand when we go places and so many other things. Is… is that what you want?”

Crutchie smiled, leaning forward slightly to peck Jack’s lips. “Yes. Of course I want that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still can't decide if I like this or not  
> Come send me prompts/say hi at officialjackcrutchie.tumblr.com


	42. Baby Just Say Yes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus sprace angst not found on my tumblr cause why not!

"Spot?" Race asked quietly as he turned onto another road.

"Yeah?" Spot replied, turning down the car radio.

"You know how at the party you were talking about never wanting to get married," Race said. "Did you mean that?"

Spot nodded. "Yeah."

"Never though?" Race repeated.

"Never," Spot confirmed. "Why do you care so much? You said you didn't want to either."

"Six years ago when we were nineteen and just started dating," he explained. 

"And now you want to?" Spot asked.

"Well yeah," Race responded. "I mean I'm not asking to get married tomorrow, or next month, or next year even, but I'd like to know that it would be in the future."

"Well sorry but you aren't gonna get that," he mumbled.

"I'm not trying to pressure you, but please think about it," Race sighed.

"I have been thinking about it for twenty years," Spot grumbled. "Marriage just ends in divorce, you know that just as well as I do."

"Don't bring my parents into this," Race snapped. "We both know I am not either of my homophobic parents, I'm the exact opposite."

"I'm just saying they were probably completely different people when they were twenty five than when they were fifty and filing out the divorce papers," Spot muttered. "Plus the whole idea of marriage and weddings is stupid. Like oh, let's spend $20,000 on one party just to say we love our partner and so our children have both last names."

"You think I want a big wedding like that?" Race demanded. "Marriage just proves commitment. I wouldn't care if we got married in a court house, or in an alley way, or in front of all of Brooklyn. It's supposed to be a promise that two people will stay with the other and be committed to them."

"And we can't do that as boyfriends?" Spot asked as Race pulled up in front of their apartment.

"Boyfriends don't last forever," Race hissed. "They either become husbands or exes, and it's quite clear you don't like that first option."

"Are you saying we should break up?" he questioned.

Race nodded slowly. "Until you get your shit together and at least think about this. If we don't want the same things, what's the point? Now get out of my car."

"Where are you going? You live here," Spot scoffed.

"Anywhere but here," Race glared, waiting for Spot to get out of the car.

"Fuck you Higgins," he spat, getting out of the car and slamming the door. Race immediately sped away, leaving Spot to stand on the steps of their apartment building, watching the man he love drive away from him, possibly forever.


	43. Homecoming Means Coming Home to What it is in Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I never posted this but I love this so much????  
> Jackcrutchie homecoming AU based off of my homecoming which is explained here  
> http://officialjackcrutchie.tumblr.com/post/129861285440/okay-so-this-post-will-make-sense-in-an-hour-or-so

“Jack, guess what tomorrow is?” Crutchie asked Sunday afternoon, lying on Jack’s couch while Jack was drawing.

“Oh it’s homecoming week isn’t it?” Jack sighed.

Crutchie nodded excitedly. “Superhero day tomorrow.”

“Why do you love homecoming so much?” Jack asked, joining his boyfriend on the couch. “You hate sports and missing class.”

“Yeah but it’s so much fun seeing the entire class working together to win, it’s like a sport for me,” Crutchie explained. 

“Well I’ll do flag football for you,” Jack said. “And help you with the room. As long as we beat Sarah’s grade, I’m happy.”

“You’re the best,” Crutchie hummed, kissing him lightly.

Monday 11:26am

“Hey Jack the wall needs more help with decorations can we stay for a few hours?”

“It’s Monday how do they already need more help?”

“Please?”

“Fine.”

Tuesday 3:31pm

“Crutchie no you cannot be the person to do a cartwheel in a video. No I don’t care that it’s a requirement. I’ll do it as long as you don’t.”

Wednesday 9:10am

“Okay why did we choose Davey for the dodgeball team?” Jack whispered to Crutchie during the dodgeball game. “He’s literally the worst dodgeball player I know.”

“Scavenger hunt yesterday was already full so I had to let him do something,” Crutchie mumbled. “It was this or football. He’d get beat up in football.”

Jack laughed. “Very true.”

Thursday 10:19am

“Okay how do you only have one black t-shirt?” Jack asked as he and Crutchie walked out with the rest of their grade to the football field.

“Cause unlike you I like a little bit of color,” Crutchie smirked.

“Well I have you as my color so,” Jack smiled.

“Sap alert!” Race yelled from behind the two, earning him a punch in the arm from Katherine who thought it was cute.

“Hey, go kick ass at football,” Crutchie said once they got to the bleachers, kissing him quickly. “If we don’t beat the freshmen I will break up with you.”

“Love you too,” Jack scoffed before following Spot, Race, Katherine, Smalls, and Specs to the field.

No one really expected Jack to be amazing at flag football. Everyone knew he was a fast runner, but no one expected this. They crushed the freshmen and moved on to face the seniors, who they beat as well. The entire time on the bleachers, Crutchie was leading the grades in cheers, mainly cheering on Jack, but no one was complaining.

After the games were over, Crutchie met his boyfriend at the fence by the field. “Why haven’t you been playing football the past two years for us?” he asked before grabbing Jack’s shirt and pulling him into a kiss.

Jack smirked. “Someone’s grabby today.”

“Hey!” he said, playfully punching Jack in the arm. “You’re the one who just got the Juniors twenty points, of course I’m going to kiss you at least once.”

Jack smiled, kissing him lightly. “See you at lunch, nerd.”

Thursday 2:02pm

“So everyone either has practice or is working on the wall so we’re on our own for the room?” Jack asked, walking down the hallway to their room.

Crutchie nodded. “I’m a room builder professional though, we’ll get it done.”

“Says the one who won’t have to hang table cloth from the ceiling by climbing on every desk and table and stool available,” Jack muttered.

“Okay well Katherine, Davey, and Romeo will be here by 6:00 so you won’t have to do all the hanging,” Crutchie explained, opening the door to the room

“Ah yes two hours will make the biggest difference,” Jack smirked, dropping down the box of supplies he was carrying. “I’ll head back out to the truck and get the rest of the stuff, you go steal tape from the other classes, especially from the seniors.”

“Still set on beating Sarah?” Crutchie asked. Jack nodded in reply, heading back out the door.

Thursday 5:39pm

“You’re pizza sir,” Jack said, placing the pizza box on the ground in front of Crutchie as he sat down. 

Crutchie smiled, opening the pizza box and taking a slice. “Thanks.”

“It’s looking really good so far,” Jack muttered, taking a bite from his pizza.

“Yeah,” Crutchie sighed. “Les is gonna spy on the seniors for us.”

“How’d you get him to do that?” Jack asked.

“Let him finish the rest of my soda earlier,” he shrugged.

Jack laughed softly. “I’m glad I agreed to do this.”

“Really?” Crutchie asked. “You aren’t completely hating this and pretending you aren’t for my sake?”

Jack shook his head. “No it’s actually fun. Six hours with you is actually pretty great, despite you singing excessive musical theatre.”

“Oh you love me,” Crutchie said, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah I do,” Jack smiled, leaning over to kiss his boyfriend.

“Hey Juniors stop kissing and get to work!” Sarah yelled as she opened the door, to which Jack responded by flipping her off, continuing to kiss Crutchie.

Thursday 7:59pm

“Okay so you’ll pick me up at 5:00 so we can get into the room by 5:15?” Crutchie asked as they walked out to Jack’s truck.

“You want to just stay over? It’ll be easier,” Jack suggested. “I mean we have to go to the dollar store which is halfway across town and I’m starving ‘cause Katherine stole all the pizza for the wall so by the time you get home it’ll be 10:00.”

“Fine with me,” Crutchie smiled, getting into the truck.

Friday 4:36am

“Jack get up,” Crutchie whispered, shaking him lightly.

“Five more minutes,” he mumbled, pulling his boyfriend closer to him.

“If we don’t leave in ten minutes we won’t have time to get coffee,” Crutchie replied, kissing his forehead.

“Okay I’m up,” Jack said, sitting up and giving his boyfriend a proper kiss. “Though I wish we had an extra five minutes to cuddle.”

“Any other day I’d say yes but it’s homecoming day,” Crutchie smiled brightly. “And we still have to work on the room and help with the wall.”

“I hate homecoming,” Jack muttered.

“No you don’t,” Crutchie smirked.

Friday 1:49pm

“Hey at least we won the wall,” Crutchie said as they walked out to the truck.

“We have in third for the room though,” Jack mumbled. “We barely beat the freshmen. The freshmen.”

“Hey, we were the only two who worked on the room, and I still think it was amazing,” Crutchie comforted. “And plus next year we’re going to kick ass.”

“I love you,” Jack hummed, leaning over to kiss the top of his head.

Friday 7:26pm

“You should play football next year,” Crutchie said, leaning over the fence as he and Jack watched the game, watching as Race scored another touchdown. “I mean you were great on Thursday.”

“Ehh I don’t know,” Jack shrugged. “That means I wouldn’t get to help with the room next year.”

Crutchie smiled softly, wrapping his free arm around Jack’s waist, pulling him close. “Thanks.”

“For what?” Jack asked.

“Everything this week. You made homecoming even better this year than I thought possible,” he replied.

Jack smiled back, leaning down to kiss him.


	44. Come Back To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 to Baby Just Say Yes  
> (Sprace with background JackCrutchie)

"Party's over, what do you want?" Jack greeted as he opened the door, his voice filled with annoyance.

"Your fiancé's ice cream and your heated blanket," Race muttered, pushing through Jack.

"Crutchie!" Jack called, closing the apartment door.

Crutchie walked out of the bathroom into the living room. "Who is here for me at 2:30 in the morning?" He looked up to see Race awkwardly standing by the couch, his usual smirk absent from his face, replaced with a frown. "Ah. Figured this was coming. Sit down, I'll grab ice cream, Jack get your blanket."

"I still don't understand how you do that," Jack mumbled, going into the bedroom to get the blanket. "You just automatically know what is bothering your friends."

"It's an automatic talent I have from being the mom friend," Crutchie replied, passing a pint of Ben and Jerry's and a spoon to Race, who was now sitting on the couch. "Ask Katherine, she can do the same. It's a curse and a gift." Jack threw Crutchie the blanket, who then passed it to Race before sitting down on the chair opposite of the couch. "So you brought up marriage again to Spot?"

Race nodded, swallowing his ice cream. "I know he's afraid of commitment, which is why I never bothered asking, but he thinks the whole idea is stupid in general. Thinks the only difference between boyfriends and husbands is the fact that instead of introducing the other as 'my boyfriend' it's 'my husband'."

"And you want to get married soon," Crutchie continued.

"Not necessarily," Race replied, shoving another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. "I just want to know that it's in the future. He said he wouldn't even think about changing his mind."

"Well knowing Spot's past with his parents getting divorced when he was four, I get why he thinks he never wants to get married," Jack said. "I mean that's why I was hesitant to propose to Crutchie. But my mind changed, so I wouldn't lose hope."

"You aren't Spot though," Race pointed out. "He might not change his mind."

"He's basically the Manhattan equivalent of Spot," Crutchie responded. "Spot does take a longer time to open up his feelings, yes, but in terms of marriage, two months ago both Spot and Jack had the same views of marriage. Remember beginning of freshmen year of college when they both of them said dating in college was stupid, and then three months later Jack asked me out, two months after that, Spot asked you out?"

"That doesn't mean he's gonna change his mind about marriage though," Race repeated.

"Just give it time Race," Crutchie sighed. "How did you end the argument?" "

I told him if we don't have the same views then we should break up," Race explained. "Then I told him to get out of my car, he told me to fuck off, he got out, I drove here."

"Has he texted you yet?" Crutchie asked.

Race shrugged. "Haven't checked my phone, it's been off."

"Toss it over," Jack muttered, holding his hands up, ready to catch.

Race tossed it over to him. "Why am I giving this to you instead of you know, checking my own messages?"

"Cause I want to talk to him and my phone is charging in our room and I don't feel like getting it," Jack mumbled.

"You are so lazy, why am I marrying you?" Crutchie rolled his eyes. "You want to keep talking or do you want to watch Cutthroat Kitchen and before you even try to deny you don't like that show or you've never watched it, I'm going to remind you that we still share a Netflix account and I can see what you watch."

"I swear to God if you mention that to anyone else I will kill you," Race hissed. "Cutthroat it is," Crutchie smiled, turning on the TV, playing his the most recent episode on his DVR.

 **[To Spot]:** Have I ever mentioned you're an idiot?

 **[To Spot]:** This is Jack btw. Not Race. I mean he knows you're an idiot as well but.

 **[From Spot]:** What do you want Kelly?

 **[From Spot]:** And why do you have my boyfriend's phone?

 **[From Spot]:** Or my ex-boyfriend's. Whatever he is now.

 **[To Spot]:** He's at my apartment now. He's watching that cooking show that he secretly loves with Crutchie.

 **[From Spot]:** Why aren't you using your phone?

 **[To Spot]:** It's charging, I'm too lazy to get up to get it.

 **[To Spot]:** But that's besides the point. You two need to get your shit together.

 **[From Spot]:** I'm not talking about this on his phone. He could easily go through his messages.

 **[To Spot]:** There's a magical thing called I can delete these messages.

 **[To Spot]:** I thought you weren't afraid of marriage anymore.

 **[From Spot]:** I'm not.

 **[To Spot]:** Then why did you tell Race you don't want to get married?

 **[From Spot]:** Cause I know he's just gonna find someone better and we'll be over.

 **[From Spot]:** It's easier to break up than to get a divorce.

 **[To Spot]:** You're such an idiot oh my god.

 **[To Spot]:** You're the only one he wants to be with. If he didn't think that he wouldn't be this upset over you never wanting to get married.

 **[From Spot]:** I do want to marry him, I just don't want it to end.

 **[To Spot]:** Then propose to the boy. Prove that you don't want it to end. The whole point of marriage is saying you'll stay together forever.

"Did he text me?" Race asked in a small voice as he saw Jack furiously typing.

Jack shook his head. "He's responding to me right now but he didn't text you originally."

Race frowned and turned his attention back to the TV.

 **[To Spot]:** I'd do it soon if I were you.

 **[To Spot]:** Like go out and get a ring tomorrow soon

 **[From Spot]:**... I have a ring

 **[To Spot]:** When did you get a ring?

 **[From Spot]:** When you told me you were proposing to Crutchie.

 **[From Spot]:** I'm not asking though. He's going to say no, especially now.

 **[To Spot]:** Yes you are. He isn't going to say no. He loves you and he wants to marry you, why would he say no?

The typing symbol appeared and disappeared multiple times over the course of five minutes. Jack watched the phone, waiting for an actual response to be sent in.

 **[From Spot]** **:** Delete these messages now. I'm calling him in two minutes and telling him to come home.

 **[To Spot]:** Deleting them now.

As promised, Jack deleted all the messages before throwing the phone back over to Race, who was just finishing the pint of ice cream.

"How is he?" Race asked.

Jack opened his mouth to answer as the phone started ringing. Race looked down at it, Spot's name and contact picture popping up on screen.

Spot rarely called Race so it was very rare that Race saw his contact photo; often he forgot he had set that image as his contact photo. It was from three years before at their college graduation. Senior year had been rough for both of them, neither of them expected that they would have all the needed credits to graduate. Both scraped by, allowing them to earn their diplomas. After everyone had earned theirs, they practically ran to find each other, having been seated far away from each other during the ceremony. They found each other and hugged each other tightly as Race repeatedly whispered in Spot's ear "we did it". Katherine had been quick to take her phone out and snap a picture, knowing an opportunity like this would not come again any time soon. The picture only showed Spot's face, his chin resting on Race's shoulder. At the time, both said they hated the picture, but Race asked Katherine to text to him about an hour later and set it as his boyfriend's contact photo.

Race took a deep breath, accepting the call and bringing the phone up to his ear as Crutchie turned the TV down. "Hey."

"Come back," Spot immediately greeted.

"What?" Race asked.

"Come back to Brooklyn, come back to the apartment," Spot replied. "Our apartment. Let's talk about this."

"Spot Colon is offering to talk about a relationship problem? The world's turned upside down," Race joked.

"Please, just come home," he begged.  

Race noticed the change in Spot's voice. "Okay, I'll be there soon."

"Thank you, I love you," Spot responded.

"Love you too," Race smiled slightly, hanging up the call. "Thanks for the ice cream and blanket, but I'm needed in Brooklyn."

"Make sure you guys actually talk and not have angry make-up sex," Crutchie muttered.

"We do not do that," Race objected.

"My dorm was right next to yours sophomore year. I heard lots of things I did not want to," Crutchie pointed out.

"Okay then yeah we do that," Race mumbled, walking to the door. "Thanks again."

"Anytime," Crutchie called as Race left the apartment.

* * *

 

Race took a deep breath before entering the apartment. He opened the door and was surprised to find all the lights off. Despite his love for nighttime, Spot didn't like a dark apartment. "Spot?"

"Yeah, I'm here," he replied, walking over to where Race stood in the hallway, awkwardly grabbing his hand. "Come here." 

He pulled Race over to the couch, sitting him down. 

"Spot why are the lights off?" Race asked.

"Cause I'm a coward and the only way I can say this is if I can't say this is if I can't see your face," he explained, his voice fast.

"What's going on?" Race questioned, voice filling with worry.

"Marry me," Spot gulped. "I know I said earlier I didn't want to get married, but I was lying. I've just been too terrified to ask."

"Spot if you don't want to get married now, we don't have to," Race replied. "I just wanted you to actually think about it. I didn't want to spring anything onto you."

"Fuck I knew it," Spot groaned, standing up, walking to the other side of the room. "I knew you'd say no. God why did you have to listen to Jack god fucking  _dammit_!" His voice got louder until he was shouting and he ended the sentence by punching the wall.

Race followed Spot, slowly wrapping his arms around his waist. Spot slowly relaxed into Race's touch, his breathing evening out. "You actually want to get married?"

Spot nodded. "I've been an idiot today, I know, but I do, I really do."

"And you aren't going to wake up tomorrow and regret this?" Race whispered.

Spot shook his head, reaching into his pocket, pulling out a small blue box. "I've had this for three months. I've wanted to ask everyday."

"Ask me again," Race breathed. 

Spot turned around to face Race. He couldn't see all of his face in the dark, but he did see the small smile growing on his face by the second. "Anthony Higgins, will you marry me?"

"Of course," Race smiled fully.

Spot exhaled a breath he didn't realize he was holding and hugged Race tightly. Race hugged back just as tight, kissing his cheek quickly.

They pulled away slightly as Spot opened the box and slid the ring onto his fiancé's finger before kissing him deeply.

"Why didn't you ask before?" Race asked after the kiss.

"Thought you were going to say no," Spot mumbled. "Figured you'd realize that it's me you'd be marrying."

"I realized it's you, that's why I said yes," Race replied.

"Fuckin' sap," Spot scoffed.

"Says the one who just proposed to me," Race rolled his eyes, kissing him again. "I love you."

"Love you too Race."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of people wanted a part two so I wrote it! This got longer than I expected and I may add a part 3 we'll see  
> This may also have a lot of mistakes its 1:35am on Wednesday morning lol


	45. Just Let Me In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie, trigger warning for depression

Crutchie just knew when he heard the front door open and close. To most, this would seem ordinary for Jack, but something hung in the air and Crutchie knew exactly what it was.

Grabbing his crutch, he stood up and walked out of their makeshift office just as Jack walk past the door and into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

“Jack?” Crutchie knocked lightly at the door. “Jack what’s wrong?”

The only reply was the sound of Jack sliding down the door and onto the floor with his back against the wall.

Crutchie tried opening the door despite knowing it was locked. “C’mon Jack let me in.”

“Leave me alone,” Jack mumbled.

“Just tell me what’s bothering you,” Crutchie replied, jiggling the doorknob again.

“Just leave me alone Crutchie!” Jack suddenly yelled. “I don’t need you to constantly asking if I’m okay when I clearly am! Just go away!”

It wasn’t until the sound Jack’s muffled sobs poured through the door did Crutchie realize what happened. He knew Jack got like this when his depression acted up, but that didn’t mean it hurt when it happened. 

“Jack just let me in, please,” Crutchie whispered, sitting down with his back against the outside of the door. “Please let me help you.”

Jack slowly reached his hand up and unlocked the door. Hearing this Crutchie sighed in relief, scooting away from the door to have room to open it. Jack had shifted his position and was now leaning against the cabinet. Tears filled the rims of his eyes, his cheeks stained with the ones that had already fallen.

“Crutch I’m so sorry,” he trembled. “I didn’t mean to yell, I didn’t mean any of that. I screwed up, god I screwed up.”

“Shhh Jack it’s okay,” Crutchie said, moving over to face him, grabbing his face in his hands, wiping the tears off of Jack’s cheeks. “You didn’t screw up, okay? I promise you didn’t.”

Jack nodded slowly, not believing it as more tears fell from his eyes.

“C’mon how about I go put on some hot chocolate and we watch Parks and Rec on the couch, okay?” Crutchie asked. “Whatever episode you want.”

Jack nodded again. Crutchie smiled slightly, pressing a quick kiss to Jack’s lips before grabbing his crutch from the hall and standing up, extending his hand to Jack to help him up. Crutchie kissed his hand once he stood up before leading him to the couch, handing him the remote. “Choose the episode you want. I’ll get the hot chocolate going. How many marshmallows you want?”

“Three,” Jack responded quietly.

Crutchie returned with the hot chocolate a few minutes later, handing the steaming mug to Jack, who had chosen an episode and was waiting for Crutchie. Tears still stained his cheeks, his eyes red from crying, but no new tears flowed, which was an improvement. 

Jack began the episode as Crutchie sat down next to him, wrapping the comforter from their room around the two of them. After taking a long sip from his mug, Jack readjusted himself to rest his head against Crutchie’s chest. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Crutchie lightly ran his hand through Jack’s hair. “You’re welcome darling.” They both knew that didn’t fix everything, but for now, it was enough


	46. Knock Knock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie. Emotional abuse and anxiety trigger warnings, one mention of depression.

_Knock_

Crutchie groaned, refusing to open his eyes as he rolled over in his bed. New York City was his favorite place in the world and he loved living there, but if one more pigeon hit his window in the middle of the night, he would move.

_Knock-knock_

He opened his eyes. Three pigeons flying into his window was not common. He picked up his charging phone off of his nightstand to check the time, but instead noticed four new texts.

 **[Jack, 2:48am]:** Expect a knock on your window in five minutes.

 **[Jack, 2:59am]:** Jk took a wrong turn. Bout to climb up.

 **[Jack, 3:01am]:** Knock knock

 **[Jack, 3:02am]:** I know you're up and I'm cold and I need to talk to you please open your window.

Grabbing his crutch which was leaning up against the nightstand and putting his phone back down, Crutchie got up off the bed, shivering from the lack of warmth of blankets as he walked over to his window. As promised, there was Jack Kelly squatting by the window, wrapping his jacket tightly around himself, holding a small duffle bag. He smiled when he saw Crutchie walking towards him and opening the window.

"Get in, it's freezing outside," Crutchie greeted once the window was open.

"Thanks," Jack replied, throwing the bag inside before climbing in carefully, kissing Crutchie lightly once inside before turning to close the window. 

Crutchie kissed back lightly. "You do realize it's three in the morning on a Wednesday, right?"

"Yeah I know, thanks for opening the window anyways," Jack laughed lightly.

"What are you doing here anyways?" Crutchie asked, walking back over to his bed and climbing under the blankets, motioning Jack to do the same.

"I kinda sorta ran away and I need a place to stay for tonight," Jack muttered as he sat next to his boyfriend.

"You ran away?" he asked in disbelief. "I thought things were getting better."

"Yeah that was a lie, it was only getting worse," Jack explained. "Dad destroyed my sketchbook, that was pretty much the final straw. We got into an argument and he grounded me saying I wasn't allowed to see you ever again so I ran away."

Crutchie wrapped his arms around Jack's waist, pulling himself closer to his boyfriend and kissed his jaw lightly. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Jack muttered, running his hands lightly through Crutchie's hair.

"I know," Crutchie sighed. "Still feel bad." He pulled the blankets up slightly so they covered both of them. "At least every night I get to sleep next to you now."

"What are you talking about?" Jack asked softly. "I'll find somewhere else tomorrow night, it'll be fine. I don't want to bother your life."

"Where else are you going to go?" Crutchie countered. "I love having you here because I love you. My mom won't mind, you're here almost everyday anyways. It's closer to school from here and work for you. It just makes sense."

"Fuck I forgot about school," Jack muttered, his breathing growing rapidly. "He can come to school and bring me home and then I'll be stuck there without you  _fuck._ "

"Jack breathe," Crutchie said sitting up slightly to look at Jack eye to eye.

"Crutch he's gonna bring me back and make me switch schools he's talked about doing this before," Jack trembled. "Send me to a Catholic school his friend runs to 'get rid of the bisexual or whatever the hell I am' according to him. He's gonna take me away from my friends and you and he's already taken my art away and-"

Crutchie leaned down and kissed him, more of an instinct than a decision. Jack kissed back, relaxing slightly, but still kissed like it was the last time he would ever get to.

Crutchie pulled back. "Jack I need you to breathe okay? In for four, hold for four, out for four, just like I've taught you." Jack nodded beginning to try to control his breathing. "Okay good. It's going to be fine, I promise. We'll go talk to Medda first thing in the morning. She understands already, she'll make sure he can't dismiss you and take you back, okay? You're dad has work when we get out so it's going to be fine."

"Promise?" Jack asked, voice shaking.

"Promise," Crutchie echoed. 

Jack nodded then returned to focusing on breathing as Crutchie whispered encouraging words as his breathing evened out. Crutchie leaned down again and lightly kissed his forehead. "Good job, I'm proud of you."

"You must think I'm pathetic," Jack mumbled.

"Why would I think that?” Crutchie asked, lazily running his hand down the side of Jack’s face.

“Cause I can't even breathe right and I go into panic mode at the thought of my dad now,” Jack explained in a quiet voice. “That doesn't happen to a normal person.”

“You are not abnormal ‘cause your dad is an abusive asshole that pushed you towards anxiety after you mom died,” Crutchie comforted. “That's not your fault and I don't think you're pathetic at all. If I did, I'd be a huge hypocrite, trust me.”

“How do you do it?” Jack asked in a small voice after a few quiet moments. “Your childhood was far worse than mine but you can hold yourself together just fine.”

“I was a lot worse before I met you and the rest of the group back in ninth grade,” Crutchie whispered. “Most of my childhood was one giant panic attack until you sat next to me at freshmen orientation and actually talked to me and cared. Sure my anxiety isn't completely gone now, but it's easier to stay calm remembering there's people in my life now besides my mom who actually care about me and want me in their lives. It's not the best medicine, but it's what I've got and it works a good portion of the time.” Crutchie quickly leaned down and pecked Jack’s lips lightly. “I don't expect you to suddenly not have any depression or anxiety, that's unrealistic. It takes time, but after you dedicate that time, it gets better, I promise.”

Jack smiled slightly, pulling Crutchie down into a kiss. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Crutchie yawned

“You're tired, go to sleep,” Jack said, pressing a kiss to Crutchie’s forehead.

“No it's fine I wanna stay up and talk to you,” Crutchie replied, trying to hide the yawn that followed.

“Nope you're going to bed,” Jack ordered. “I already woke you up at three in the morning and you have that calculus test tomorrow, you need sleep.”

“Fine,” Crutchie sighed, resting his head on Jack’s chest. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Jack echoed, kissing Crutchie’s curls before closing his eyes.


	47. Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spot knew it was a mistake from the start, but didn't make an effort to fix it.  
> (Sprace)

  
  


It was a mistake. Spot knew it was a mistake when he picked up his first bottle of beer, despite telling himself that it was a reward for not completely failing his midterms, even though he knew that he hasn't failed three weeks before.

 

This repeated as he picked up his second beer, then his third, then his fourth. By his fifth, the word mistake sounded like it was in Italian. He'd probably heard it in passing from his boyfriend and his sisters, but that doesn't mean he could recognize what it was. 

 

Mistake didn't come to mind once he was drunk. When he was drunk, Spot seemed like a mashup of all the stereotypical drunks. He got angry, he got philosophical, he got happy, and he was attracted to people very easily.

 

Which is how the night went. The word mistake vanished from his memory for hours and reappeared hours later, knocking on all the walls of his brain, welcoming him back to reality with a pounding headache. 

 

_ Mistake,  _ he thought without even opening his eyes to figure out exactly what he did, because whatever he did was definitely not a positive thing. 

 

When Spot opened his eyes, the girl lying next to him sleeping peacefully only confirmed what he thought must've happened. The dorm room looked like any girls stereotypical college dorm room; pictures decorated the wall and fairy lights twinkled above the bed. 

 

Spot groaned as he got up, picking up his discarded clothes from the floor. He pulled his phone out of the pocket to figure out the time, only to be welcomed by multiple texts from Race.

 

**[Race, 11:07pm]** Finally got off work. Will be at your dorm in 5 mins, don’t feel like walking back to mine whoops.

**[Race, 11:13pm]** Are you not in your dorm? It’s Friday. You said you were going to be here.

**[Race, 11:15pm]** You must be in the library or something. Text me when you’re out.

**[Race, 12:19am]** Where are you? Library closed twenty minutes ago.

**[Race, 12:24am]** Everywhere else on campus is closed where else would you be?

**[Race, 1:07am]** Was going to go back to my dorm but Mush seemed a bit occupied with Blink so I’m back sitting outside yours. 

**[Race, 1:11am]** Where the fuck are you?

**[Race, 1:36am]** My phone’s gonna die soon so you better get here quick.

**[Race, 1:41am]** I don’t want to sleep in the hall

**[Race, 1:52am]** You’re gonna pay for this Colons if you aren’t walking into this building right now.

 

Spot looked at the time on his phone: 3:34am.

 

“Fuck,” he cursed, shoving his shoes onto his feet.

 

“Hey where you goin’?” a slurred voice asked seductively from across the room. Spot turned around to see the girl, couldn’t even remember her name, sitting up, her sheet wrapped around her, but not hiding much. “It ain’t even morning yet, there’s still time for some fun.”

 

“Home,” Spot replied sternly, walking out of the dorm room. “This was a mistake.”

 

* * *

The word kept rattling around in his head the entire walk back to his dorm, but when he approached his dorm to see Race leaned up against the wall, using his own jacket as a makeshift pillow as he slept, the rattle turned to thunder, booming through his mind until it was the only thing in there.

 

“Race,” he said, nudging his shoulder lightly. 

 

“Leave me the fuck alone I’m sleeping asshole,” Race muttered sleepily, adjusting his coat-pillow.

 

Spot sighed. “How about you come sleep in an actual bed instead?”

 

Race slowly opened his eyes. “Took you long enough to get here. Been here for hours, thanks for telling me you wouldn’t be here. Where the fuck were you?”

 

“Fell asleep at that 24 hour coffee shop across campus,” Spot lied, unlocking his door, leaving it open for his boyfriend as he walked in. 

 

“Isn’t Crutchie working there tonight?” Race questioned. “Wouldn’t he have woken you up?”

 

Spot shrugged. “Guess not.”

 

“You’re still an ass for making me sleep in the hall, you’re lucky I lo-” Race stopped mid sentence as he approached his boyfriend. “Why do you smell like smoke?”

 

_ Fuck. _

 

Spot had agreed to quit smoking two months ago when Race quit so it was easier for him. 

 

Except he didn’t quit. He tried, he really did, but a cigarette always found his way back into his mouth not long after Race left his presence every day.

 

He didn't remember smoking at the party; he didn't even know where he would've gotten the cigarette, he wasn't carrying them on him at the time. But when Race mentioned it, the smell became very clear.

 

“Sean,” Race warned, taking a step back. “Were you smoking?”

 

“No someone was smoking outside the shop,” Spot replied quickly. “I was sitting by the window and they were still there when I left.”

 

Race stepped forward again and kissed him quickly. “Bullshit. You taste like smoke and beer.”

 

“Okay I screwed up a bit,” Spot muttered. “Big deal, won't happen again.”

 

“You lied to me,” Race responded sternly. “You told me you were at the coffee shop but you weren't. So where the fuck were you?”

 

“Race just calm down,” Spot mumbled, though he knew Race had a perfectly good reason to be upset.

 

“You were at that party weren't you?” Race demanded. “You wouldn't have fallen asleep at the party though, and if you were awake you would've had answered your phone, meaning you had to be a-” 

 

Race’s eyes scanned Spot’s body quickly, then went cold, realizing what had happened. “You slept with someone else.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Spot asked, thankful that he was good at hiding panic in his voice after years of practice.

 

“Next time you cheat on your boyfriend and then lie straight to his face about it, at least cover your neck,” Race hissed, pointing to the exposed hickey on Spot’s neck. 

 

Spot cursed, covering the spot with his hand as if that could take back what Race saw. “I was drunk.”

 

“Still not an excuse,” Race growled, grabbing his jacket from where he discarded it on Spot’s bed, pulling it on. “If you at least admitted where you were and what you were doing it’d be easier to forgive you, but I don't know if I can forgive a cheating liar.”

 

“Race it was a mistake,” Spot exhaled, as if trying to get the word to stop booming in his head. “People mistakes.”

 

“And people usually own up to them right away instead of lying about them!” Race yelled.

 

Spot stood in shock. Race didn't yell. His voice got louder when angry, yes, but it never reached the level of yelling. Race was always in control of his emotions; it was something Spot envied, something that made him fall for Race.

 

Race took a deep breath. “If you lied about tonight ,” he whispered, “and cheated, how am I supposed to believe you love me?”

 

Spot’s heart fell in his chest, though he would never admit it. He had told Race he loved him completely by accident two week prior, and after he realized he said it, he was apologizing over and over again. Unlike his boyfriend, Spot had no control over his emotions, so he chose to hide them all together. 

 

So when he accidentally told his boyfriend of a year on the second to last day of break while Race attempted to teach him how to cook, he panicked. Race had already said it to him a few weeks before that, but emotions weren't Spot’s strong point. Luckily, Race accepted the apology, though he had looked like an arrow had pierced through his heart, though that arrow wasn't shot from Cupid’s bow, but a deadly one. It wasn't brought up again until later that night, Spot resting his head on Race’s chest in his bed while NCIS reruns played in the background softly. 

 

_ “Did you mean that earlier?” Race asked in a small voice. “That you don't love me?” _

 

_ “You know me…” Spot sighed, ignoring the question. _

 

_ “Sean,” Race replied with a hint of annoyance as he ran his hand through his boyfriend’s hair. _

 

_ “I meant it,” Spot answered. _

 

_ “Then why did you apologize?” he whispered. _

 

_ “Cause it's me and that's what I do,” Spot said. “I say something important and immediately think I screwed it up.” _

 

_ “You didn't,” Race yawned. “And I love you too.” _

 

_ “Sap,” Spot scoffed. _

 

_ “Fuck off and go to bed,” Race rolled his eyes.  _

 

"I've lied to you about many things,” Spot admitted, voice stern, “but I wasn't lying when I said I loved you.”

 

“I can't believe you,” Race muttered, walking over to the door. “Don't follow me Colons. Don't come to my dorm and don't call me or I swear to god I will never even look at you again.”

 

“Race it was a mistake, just one big-”

  
Race didn't hear the rest of that sentence; the door was already slammed shut and he was already halfway down the hall.


	48. How To Break Down The Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “you’re clearly hurting stop putting up a strong front” jackcrutchie 
> 
> (trigger warning for anxiety)

Jack picked up his ringing phone, just to put it back down since it was an unknown number. _Probably just a telemarketer_ he thought, returning to his drawing.

The number called back three times, and each time, Jack ignored it. Just when he was about to turn on “do not disturb”, Katherine’s ringtone (Candy Store from Heathers, all her idea, Jack didn’t know how to change it and didn’t care at this point) rang.

He didn’t even have time to say hello because she was already yelling in his ear.

“Jack Kelly why don’t you ever pick up your phone?” she demanded, voice booming.

“Well if I never picked up my phone, we wouldn’t be talking right now,” Jack smirked, putting his phone between his ear and shoulder so he had both his hands free to keep drawing. “And this is the first time you’ve called me so calm down.”

“I wouldn’t have had to call you if you answered your phone more often!” she yelled.

“Kath what are you even talking about?” Jack asked.

“I’m talking about how if you didn’t ignore every unknown number even after they called you four times then the hospital wouldn’t have had to call me to get you,” Katherine explained.

Jack stopped drawing, taking the phone in his hand. “Why was the hospital calling me? I haven’t been there in months.”

“Crutchie’s anxiety acted up again and he passed out. Some people at work called 911 and he’s in the emergency room now,” Katherine replied.

Jack’s heart shattered into a million pieces. “That’s not possible, he hasn’t had an anxiety attack in three months.”

“I know but it still happened,” Katherine sighed. “They need you down there. They said they were going to call his family, but Crutchie wouldn’t give them any other name but yours.”

“Fuck,” he swore, standing up and grabbing the keys to his truck. “I’m on my way there now.”

“Okay I’m pretty much already there so I’ll see you soon,” Katherine said, voice much calmer than Jack’s.

“Kath you have that big article due today I’ll be fine,” he replied.

“Jack you’re clearly hurting, stop putting up a strong front,” Katherine insisted. “I can practically hear the tears starting to form in your eyes.”

“There are no tears in my-” Jack began, stopping when he realized there was in fact tears starting to fall slowly out of his eyes as he started up the truck. “Damn you Plumber.”

Katherine laughed lightly. “I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon,” Jack echoed, hanging up the phone.


	49. I'll Always Make Sure Of It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackcrutchie hurt/comfort I forgot to post awhile ago

“No, stop crying, just stop it,” Crutchie whispered himself, not able to obey his own command as he began crying even more.

The sound of the front door opening snapped him back into reality. “Crutchie?” Jack’s familiar voice called. “Where are ya?”

Crutchie bit his lip, trying to remain silent from his spot on the bathroom floor, despite the door being locked.

“Crutch I know you’re home,” Jack called again, voice getting louder as he passed by the bathroom. Crutchie bit his lip harder, not wanting a single noise to come out.

Jack came back to the bathroom door, moving to open the door, only to realize it was locked. “Crutchie?”

Crutchie made no move to respond, but an involuntary whimper escaped from his lips.

“Crutchie are you okay in there?” Jack asked, attempting to open the door.

He shook his head, despite Jack having no way to see it, letting his cries become audible again.

“No you aren’t, c’mon let me in,” Jack insisted, shaking the door knob.

“Leave me alone,” Crutchie cried.

“Not happening,” Jack assured. “Now can you please let me in because I will knock this door down if I have to and I do not want to get another bathroom door. I don’t think the landlord would be too pleased with that.”

Crutchie slowly moved forward and unlocked the door before retreating back to the corner, hugging his knees.

Jack walked in slowly. “Thank you,” he said, sitting down next to Crutchie, pulling him into his lap.

Crutchie buried his head into Jack’s chest, tears staining the shirt as he gripped on like his life depended on it. Jack held him, rubbing comforting circles on Crutchie’s back, letting him cry.

“You wanna talk about it?” Jack asked once the crying had slowed down.

“’Nother nightmare,” he mumbled, face still in Jack’s chest. “Even worse this time.”

“It wasn’t real Crutch, I promise,” Jack whispered. “You’re never going back there, not while I’m here, okay?”

Crutchie nodded slowly, holding on tighter to Jack.

“You’re safe darling, I’ll always make sure of it,” Jack comforted, kissing his temple


End file.
